you’ll never guess what i’m wearing as i read this

why do i keep seeing people walking around manhattan blocking the sun with umbrellas like we’re in bridgerton

i think why it’s so hard to find the brooklyn j at fulton is because of the deep-seated human desire to go down more stairs. all you have to do is keep walking straight. but instead everyone goes downstairs to the a/c platform and all hell breaks loose

call that kombuch

on a plane full of lesbians going to kc for the chappell concert. this might be my new happy place.

sitting next to two business men who are having a very serious discussion about the most made up sounding things i’ve ever heard

a pacifist? no, i’m an aries.

i’m feeling so intellectually superior rn

feeling pretty good about the fact i never learned how to invest right now

is he wearing sandals?

does smoking weed heighten your senses, like edward cullen?

so high i just understood the concept of cake for the first time

is gen z filing their taxes on their phone?

Penny, short for Penicillin.