Prof @Cornell studying social influence, compliance & consent. Author, "You Have More Influence Than You Think" (2021) and "Should I Say Something?" (this Oct!)
Cornell University ILR School
Joined June 2011
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Somebody pinch me. "Should I Say Something?" got a STARRED review in @PublishersWkly !!:
A "breezy and smart pop science treatise...entertaining and deeply informative."
I cannot wait for the book to come out next month so I can share it with you all!
publishersweekly.com/9780306…
My new article in @WSJ has tips for how to ask to get a "yes." But to be honest, my favorite is the last one about how we should all aim for more than just a "yes"--we should aim for a genuine, voluntary “yes".
wsj.com/lifestyle/careers/ho…
Vanessa Bohns retweeted
Speak up? Or not? In her new book, “Should I Say Something?”, Vanessa Bohns (@profbohns) offers a research-based guide to help people make better decisions about when to speak up and when to hold back. @HachetteUS @cornellilr news.cornell.edu/stories/202…
Maggie Penman packed a TON of useful tips from my new book in this @washingtonpost piece! We talked about sharing good news, bad news, giving feedback, asking questions to be curious without treating someone as a curiosity, and ghosting. Gift link below!
wapo.st/4AW1lh5
Your colleague has a fever, a cough & no intention of missing your 2 p.m. meeting. Should you suggest they go home?
I spoke to Angela Haupt for this @TIME piece about whether to say something when someone shows up sick to work, a party, or your house. time.com/article/2026/10/07/…
Vanessa Bohns retweeted
Excellent article on grand romantic gestures!
Huge kudos to @ProfBohns, not only on this @TIME Magazine article, but also on the publication of her MAGNIFICENT new book, "Should I Say Something"!
If you want to know when to speak up, and when to stay quiet, this is *the* book!
"That’s the trouble with grand romantic gestures; they can make respecting someone’s wishes look like giving up too easily."
A @Time excerpt from Chapter 6 ("Should I Say I Love You?") of my new book.
time.com/article/2026/10/06/…
Vanessa Bohns retweeted
📢MY MAINSTAGE #TEDTALK JUST DROPPED📢
In 12.5 minutes, this talk distills the most important things I've learned in my 29 years as a relationship scientist.
Enjoy!
(And please share)
The secret to lasting love (Eli J. Finkel | TED2026) ted.com/talks/eli_j_finkel_t… via @TEDTalks
Vanessa Bohns retweeted
Grand gestures are supposed to be romantic and uplifting, but in the real world, many of them would likely raise more concerns than spirits, writes Vanessa Bohns time.com/article/2026/10/06/…
"That’s the trouble with grand romantic gestures; they can make respecting someone’s wishes look like giving up too easily."
A @Time excerpt from Chapter 6 ("Should I Say I Love You?") of my new book.
time.com/article/2026/10/06/…
This @nytimeswell piece boils the first chapter of my new book down into four tips for figuring out when to tell hard truths. nytimes.com/2026/10/02/well/…
Vanessa Bohns retweeted
Why is it harder to think clearly when you're in the presence of someone who intimidates you?
Cornell psychologist Vanessa Bohns has spent her career studying the hidden influence we exert on others.
Vanessa Bohns retweeted
★ Vanessa Bohns aims to help readers navigate the dilemma of “desperately wanting to connect with others... while at the same time being terrified of putting your proverbial foot in your mouth.” Readers will find this both entertaining and deeply informative. @gcpbalance buff.ly/v9zS8HQ
I have to admit I was kind of heartbroken that Nolan cut so many of my favorite parts of The Odyssey. It was still decent, but I felt a real missed opportunity for magic, and those moments could have helped.
Vanessa Bohns retweeted
Why do you feel a knot in your stomach before asking a stranger for a favor?
Cornell psychologist Vanessa Bohns has an answer.
And it means you're walking around underestimating your influence on everyone you meet.🧵
It's official, my new book, "Should I Say Something?," is out October 6th!
PRE-ORDER NOW AND GET...
...MY HUGEST THANKS!!! (Because pre-orders are a really big deal & let bookstores know if a book is worth ordering 🙂.) hachettebookgroup.com/titles…
Excited to share more soon!
Want to hear an alternative ending of "The Giving Tree"? Or maybe you want to hear me tell @AdamMGrant how mean he is to his face? If so, you should really tune in to this truly fantastic episode of Adam's Work Life Podcast, "How to Say No"!
podcasts.apple.com/us/podcas…
In our latest @HarvardBiz , @RachelSchlund & I argue that obtaining true informed consent requires more than locking in a signature or verbal agreement & that organizations willing to prioritize transparency and clarity over mere compliance reap benefits.
hbr.org/2025/01/research-do-…