@polyphagial

20y/o fat NEET moid with EDNOS, ED vents & stuff, pro-recovery, stats in strawpage

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74424999.straw.page/
Joined April 2026
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About Me 🎧 β€” '06 Β· β™‚ Β· UK β€” Autist with EDNOS/UFED β€” Pro-recovery & harm reduction β€” INTP 5w4 (sp/sx 541) β€” 74424999.straw.page Note πŸ—’οΈ I care a lot about accuracy, if I say something wrong, please correct me. Pinned threads in replies πŸͺ‘
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I wish humans weren't social creatures. I wish I didn't crave connection and could be perfectly content completely solitary forever. I used to be like that idk why it changed.
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Exercise purging would be fire if it didn't take up your whole day and also not really burn all that much anyway
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I actually hate food it's not even that good or enjoyable. I hate that my body craves it and I can't focus on anything else I actually care about due to overwhelming hunger.
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The guilt of being wasteful for eating so much is insane. I still have fairly strict rules on what foods are safe or not (not even in a conscious restrictive sense, I don't like junk food much and it makes me feel bad physically) so I end up eating like 300g protein 150g fibre 😭
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Can my body remember that it should be producing leptin after I eat πŸ˜…πŸ˜… I think it may have gotten mixed up and thought it needed to make more ghrelin instead
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"up your intake to prevent binging/binge urges!!" Yeah well I upped my intake and my body thought we were recovering and now I'm pretty much experiencing reactive eating even though I was BMI 19 and wouldn't need to gain even if I wanted to recover πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚
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I can't just c/s everything because I crave the food actually in my stomach because I'm physically hungry. I haven't intentionally made myself throw up for years atp but it's getting more and more tempting. It's just hard bcs my family would probably hear since I suck at it.
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Holy excuses though it's like I want to be morbidly obese or something
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I am never raising my base daily goal above 5000 idc
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Cooking helps with my food noise even if I don't eat any of it
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Swollen legs from pacing a lot sucks because they make me feel morbidly obese and I know I need to elevate them and rest briefly but it just makes me want to walk more
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Think I'm going to liquid 'fast' until my weight is back to where it was. Makes it easier for me to hydrate more, unlike regular fasting I won't feel like I'm going to pass out because my body is dramatic, but forces my intake to be low and should keep my mind off food
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Although it might be a pretty extended one because I kind of ate one billion calories of plain whole cashews. Ah eto bleh...
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Umiri my goat. They're saying this is the best diet there is out there.
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7g cocoa powder + 14g erythritol + 14g vanilla protein powder + pinch of salt + 30g water = 74kcal, 11.4g protein, 2.2g fibre chocolate spread (enough for three pieces of toast)
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I don’t even fucking care anymore man
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Reason to not kys: Your weight/height/bmi will probably be measured/recorded during an autopsy OR if you plan to not be found/go missing then they'll put your weight on a poster
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What kind of answer are people who ask how to give themselves an ED looking for? Like there's some secret code you enter '↑↑↓↓←→←→A N START' and now you've unlocked anorexia and become effortlessly skinny
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