And the winner of the parent who screams their kid's name the most at this indoor play park goes to MADISON's mom!

Improv dating profile: “Yes and” in the streets. “No but” in the sheets.

I was hoping they might have been a little more ‘yes and’ with me on this one. Oh well.

My wife [online browsing]: why don’t you have a shirt that says, “I heart my girlfriend?” Me: because she kept it as a sleep shirt.

Just spent an embarrassing amount of time figuring out how to spell "separate." How's your day going?

Officially turned into my father this morning. Handed someone $22 for a $21.98 bill and said, “this is perfect. I was hoping to get your two cents on my purchase today.”

my wife is pissed I said jessica biel and steven tyler look like each other. For the record, I think they're both pretty. But I'm still in trouble at home. Help.

The Waltons just started. It’s a very exciting time over here at George and Bonnie’s house.

!SEASON 2! Ba-boom-ba

dunno who was here and put the syrup in the fridge but that's not how we do.

Throwback Thursday. Thanksgiving 2014. "Only half of a pound difference between the two." pfoser.com #decisions #tbt #thanksgiving #thanksgiving2021

Someone approved this storyboard: Diane Keaton’s new tinder date surprise arrives at the scattering of her husband‘s ashes at the end of Justin Bieber‘s new ‘Ghost’ video and everyone’s pleased.

it's like a christmas miracle.

Day five of the State Fair and they're still setting up the booth for Minnesota NORML [organization to legalize cannabis for adults.]

What’s the worst food to dump in your lap right before a client meeting? Because mine was just a lot of cottage cheese.

Is how they make headlights now more dangerous than helpful or is how my eyes are just old and never mind?

A lesson in perfect joke writing…

My dad just told me I couldn’t use the hard boiled egg water to make tea. What gives?

I got exactly what I needed out of that Epsom bath and I didn’t even know what I was getting into.