Percy: “Ladies and gentlemen” is unnecessarily gendered, overly formal, lengthy, and honestly, I’m falling asleep already. “Cowards” on the other hand, is inclusive to all genders, to the point, and dramatic.
Percy: *holding a bottle* Is this whiskey or perfume?
Grover: *chugs entire bottle*
Grover: It’s perfume.
Annabeth: Don't stay up all night, Grover. Last time you got this sleep-deprived, you tried to eat your own shirt.
Percy: Okay, help me please!
Mr. D: Got two words for you.
Percy: I bet they won't be helpful.
Mr. D: Your problem.
Percy: I was right
Percy: Can I ask you for a favor?
Grover: I would literally die for you, but continue.
Percy: We need to talk about you starting sentences that way.
Percy: So are we flirting right now?
Annabeth: I AM LITERALLY STABBING YOU
Percy: That doesn’t answer my question
Grover: I am the most responsible person in the group.
Annabeth: …You just set the kitchen on fire.
Grover: Yes, and I take full responsibility for that.
Percy: I think I'm having a mid-life crisis.
Mr. D: You're like 15 years old
Percy: I MIGHT DIE AT 30!
Grover, holding a python: Guys I impulsively bought a snake, what do I name him
Annabeth: You did WHAT–
Percy: William Snakepeare
