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The best way to sum up the difference between my wife and I is she gets 3 boxes a day from Amazon and I finally bought mesh shorts after two years of toying with the idea.
I won’t be watching the UFC thing tonight but I assume it will feature Andrew Tate singing “Happy Birthday Mr. President” in a codpiece. #UFCFreedom250
WH secretary: Mr President, there’s a man outside who says you’re the worst person in the history of mankind.
Trump: Have him killed.
WH secretary: now he says he was just joking & thinks you’re very smart.
Trump: Give him a billion dollars & name a planet after him.
Now that he’s a trillionaire Elon should go full Genghis Khan and sire 87,000 children. He can name each one after the digits in Pi.
Everyone always gives our military leaders credit for staying out of politics but let’s also not forget the restraint they showed today by not making the jerk off motion the entire time Pete Hegseth spoke to them.
I don’t know if Tylenol causes autism but I do know that listening to medical advice from a former reality show host makes you dumb.
Trump is so metal
usatoday.com/story/news/poli…
Not sure what was crazier - the guy on my flight to Vegas who kept telling his kids that Lake Mead was Lake Tahoe, or the guy in baggage claim asking me how to tell which luggage was his.
In English class we learned English.
In Math class we learned Math.
In Science class we learned Science.
In Gym class we learned Gym.
Big win for the balding community. #PGAChampionship #BaldsAlpha
I’m just glad all these Pope memes reference Chicago’s hot dogs & pizza and not our murder & corruption
phil davidson retweeted
Paul was a sweet, dear comedic genius, and it’s unfathomable that he’s no longer with us. I’m so glad that his spirit lives on in this @StreamOnMax documentary“Pee-wee as Himself.”
Goodell hugging the draft picks a little too long. #NFLDraft









