@patterballs

Dad to Scarlett & Norah. Husband to Nancy. Comedian (yes really). Host @cbcdebaters, @debaterslive. Head writer @thepattersonian. Likes hats.

 Toronto Canada
stevepatterson.ca
Joined January 2010
  • Tweets47.1K
  • Following1.6K
  • Followers21.9K
2.4KMedia
Did this as a tribute to Gord Downie. It also serves as tribute to our other great Gords we’ve lost recently. Thanks @ComedyRecords for putting this lyric video together. #HappyCanadaDay
Comedy Records@ComedyRecords1 Jul 2023
🇨🇦HAPPY CANADA DAY!🇨🇦 Enjoy a brand new track from Steve Patterson's forthcoming album! Oh Canada, we love you Gordie! Album details coming soon! youtu.be/7aCtJMwldO8
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I wish a certain orange world leader would start “aggressively melting”…
CTV News
@CTVNewsOct 15
Scientists find Doomsday Glacier is melting ‘more aggressively’ than thought, with big impacts for sea level rise ctvnews.ca/climate-and-envir…

Scientists find Doomsday Glacier is melting ‘more aggressively’ than thought, with big impacts for...

The planet’s widest glacier is melting “more aggressively” than previously projected, meaning its impacts on global sea level rise could be double current estimates, according to new research by a...

ctvnews.ca
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I predict that by midway through next season, with the Jays already eliminated, they’ll open up the playing field to vehicular traffic…
blogTO
@blogTOOct 14
Toronto’s Rogers Centre will let people belt golf balls from upper decks this winter blogto.com/sports_play/2026/…

Toronto's Rogers Centre will let people belt golf balls from upper decks this winter

Anyone who's ever wanted to hit a ball over the Rogers Centre outfield wall will get a chance this winter. Just not playing the sport you're probably…

blogto.com
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Man with non-functioning brain tries to explain how a non-thing works…
CTV News
@CTVNewsOct 14
#BREAKING: Trump says Canada will end up being the 51st state ‘because that’s the only way it works’ ctvnews.ca/world/trumps-tari…

Trump says Canada will end up being 51st state ‘because that’s the only way it works’

Donald Trump told a crowd of supporters that Canada will 'end up being the 51st state' as he expressed a series of longstanding grievances the United States has with its northern neighbour.

ctvnews.ca
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Enter Blandman...
Newsweek
@NewsweekOct 14
Metallica has a radical message for an America exhausted by celebrity politics: shut up and play the damn music. newsweek.com/metallica-james…
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When we bought tickets for this draw for last night, our 7 year old said if we won I could have "ten bucks". Gotta believe she'll up it to at least 15 for this one. Especially considering I'm the one buying the go$%amn tickets.
CP24
@CP24Oct 14
Lotto Max jackpot grows to historic $90 million, Canada’s biggest lottery prize ever cp24.com/local/toronto/2026/…

Lotto Max jackpot grows to historic $90 million, Canada’s biggest lottery prize ever

The Lotto Max jackpot has grown to a never-before-seen $90 million, marking the largest lottery prize ever offered in Canada.

cp24.com
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“MOST think?” The others have proof that he does.
TIME
@TIMEOct 13
Most Americans think that Donald Trump is profiting off the presidency either illegally or unethically, according to a new poll time-magazine.visitlink.me/i…

Most Americans Think Trump Is Profiting From the Presidency Illegally or Unethically, Poll Finds

New polling shows that Americans see the President focused far more on his business interests than on people like them.

time.com
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This ought to do it…
CTV News
@CTVNewsOct 13
Poilievre heads to Detroit to push for tariff-free trade ctvnews.ca/politics/article/…

Poilievre heads to Detroit to push for tariff-free trade

Conservative Leader Pierre Poilievre is scheduled to be in Detroit today where he says he will advocate for tariff-free trade, with a focus on the auto sector.

ctvnews.ca
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I predict this turkey won’t be seen as of Tuesday morning…
CP24
@CP24Oct 9
A turkey has been spotted waddling around this west-end Toronto neighbourhood for weeks cp24.com/local/toronto/2026/…

A turkey has been spotted waddling around this west-end Toronto neighbourhood for weeks

One turkey has escaped its demise this Thanksgiving weekend, and has been spotted running afowl in a west-end Toronto neighbourhood.

cp24.com
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Happy Thanksgiving weekend Canadians! If you play your cards perfectly you’re not going to need to wear a watch or outside pants until Tuesday. #CanadianThanksgiving #Thankseh
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Jesus. Is it too late to pick a stronger representative. Like a goose or a wood carving?
The Globe and Mail
@globeandmailOct 9
Poilievre to deliver Canadian unity speech in Alberta ahead of referendum theglobeandmail.com/canada/a…

Poilievre to deliver Canadian unity speech in Alberta ahead of referendum

Conservative Leader says he will campaign in the province next week as Albertans prepare to vote on Oct. 19

theglobeandmail.com
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I gotta give this round to Sen. Thom Tillis…
Republicans against Trump
@RpsAgainstTrumpOct 7
Republican Sen. Thom Tillis calls Secretary of Commerce Howard Lutnick “nuttier than squirrel shit.”
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This reads like a headline from The Onion...
The Associated Press
@APOct 6
BREAKING: The U.S. stock market hits an all-time high as expectations rise for companies to keep making more money. apnews.com/article/stocks-ma…

US stocks rise to a record on expectations companies will make even fatter profits

The U.S. stock market hit an all-time high as expectations rise for companies to keep making more money.

apnews.com
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Is he really saying it's either him or... Jesus?
TSN
@TSN_SportsOct 6
Ronaldo has given Portugal an ultimatum: It's either him, or Jorge Jesus 😳🍿 (H/T @espnfc)
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Wow. Who could have seen THIS happening?
The Globe and Mail
@globeandmailOct 5
Former White House press secretary Karoline Leavitt to join Fox News theglobeandmail.com/world/ar…

Former White House press secretary Karoline Leavitt to join Fox News

Leavitt will serve as an on-air contributor beginning Nov. 1

theglobeandmail.com
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Heads up if you’re landing at Montreal Trudeau airport and heading to ride share: It’s basically the same as The Odyssey. But (hopefully) without the Cyclops.
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This is, unfortunately, an apt update to “Lions and tigers and bears oh my!”. cheers @tominwindsor…
tom hebert@tominwindsorOct 4
Guns, Germs, and ICE. No, thanks.
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It used to be CBC Radio2 that sometimes played remakes of songs that sound like they were done by artists while they were dying. Now it’s Indie 88 on Sunday mornings.
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I’d actually advise them to not travel to U.S. period…
CTV News
@CTVNewsOct 2
Canadian snowbirds advised to not pack Canadian alcohol, dairy when travelling to U.S. ctvnews.ca/canada/article/ca…

Do not bring Canadian alcohol across the border for Thanksgiving, trade lawyer advises

Thinking of bringing your favourite bottle of Canadian whisky over the border this fall? Don’t risk it, says one Canadian expert.

ctvnews.ca
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CBC Radio 7…
CTV News
@CTVNewsOct 2
Radio signal detected for the first time from a planet outside our solar system ctvnews.ca/sci-tech/article/…

Radio signal detected for the first time from a planet outside our solar system

Astronomers say they have have detected a radio emission from Beta Pictoris b, an exoplanet 63 light-years from Earth, according to new research.

ctvnews.ca
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Steve Patterson (not a parody)🇺🇦 retweeted
The Royal Canadian Legion
@RoyalCdnLegionSep 30
Today we join Canada in observing the National Day for Truth and Reconciliation. Let’s commit to learning more about Indigenous history, culture and experiences. Today is a day to reflect on and acknowledge the truth that Indigenous Peoples have carried for generations. Today is a call to action for all Canadians to listen, learn, and commit to reconciliation in meaningful ways. To learn more, visit: canada.ca/en/canadian-herita… Photo: orangeshirtday.org/
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