
creator @OptyxApp, @____lighthouse CI, third-party-web ; maintainer jpeg-js, @TestingLib, https://xitter.cf/t.co/OQCX2LPfZK ; formerly @google, @ChromeDevTools, @Yahoo
Dallas, TX
Joined April 2011
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- Following362
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America's Sweethearts is the new Hard Knocks, and it's not even close.
Pour one out for the quality rookie-make-the-cut show that died for the sake of an NFL fluff piece.
I had another 👶 a few months back! 🎉
Turned off Twitter during leave though and everyone left?
Haha, you can also find me on the mammoth-like alternative if you so choose :)
Patrick Hulce retweeted
This is essentially fraud. The makers of the software cheat to achieve the impression of improvement. WP sites use the software to improve their page experience ranking. But that is based on Core Web Vitals which cannot be cheated with this mechanism.
This thread perfectly captures my startup experience too.
Can't pretend that throwing 100% of your life into a thing for a while doesn't make you more knowledgable about that thing than you otherwise would have been.
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Super happy to be able to publicly share that @OptyxApp was acquired by @Zenfolio late last year! 🎉
globenewswire.com/news-relea…
Saying goodbye to a product you built is always tough, but the team at Zenfolio is beyond fantastic, and I couldn't be happier with the landing spot to deliver on the promise of a better workflow for photographers.
A huge, enormous, massive thank you to everyone who supported me on this journey! 🙏
Especially @daniel_inskeep @earzthompson @matthewsloan @Taytus @paul_irish @egsweeny @cjamcl @Shane_Exterkamp @addyosmani and many other non-Tweeters :)
Patrick Hulce retweeted
🤩 Great news! You can now export and measure your @ChromeDevTools Recorder user flows with the @RealWebPageTest.
Install the extension and try it out now! bit.ly/wpt-recorder
p.s: Want to create an extension? Sure, here is how goo.gle/recorder-extension
Patrick Hulce retweeted
The @RealWebPageTest has been _cranking_ on this for awhile and it's finally time to share! I could not be more excited to unveil our new Opportunities & Experiments—a way to let you test performance optimizations without touching a single line of code.
blog.webpagetest.org/posts/i…
Patrick Hulce retweeted
I ported Zelda Classic, a 20+ year old C++ Allegro program, to the web:
hoten.cc/blog/porting-zelda-…
Having COVID almost exactly 2 years apart, the power of the triple dose vax is incredible 🙏
2020 baseline: marathon shape
5 days in: blacked out moving from couch to bed
Full lung recovery: ~18 months, probably never 100%
2022: symptoms gone in 3 days, back to 🏃♂️ after day 5
Patrick Hulce retweeted
Love this visualization from @patrickhulce showing the average cost and total impact of script execution on Pages.
Hard to help clients understand the #webperf implications of technology decisions.
thirdpartyweb.today/
Patrick Hulce retweeted
Here's a suggestion for a way to contribute to open source projects: put together an unsolicited usability test with yourself as the subject
Make very detailed notes as you try out a tool for the first time, then send a link to your notes to the maintainers
If you ever feel bad about your webperf, this is the loading experience of $70B market cap @Aetna on 1gbps fiber, 10ms RTT
- just the unstyled word "Loading" for ~7 seconds
- a useless interstitial at 14s
- skeleton UI that doesn't remotely resemble the content
- CLS for days
Patrick Hulce retweeted
I made a fake @____lighthouse report for some writing, but after some edits it no longer fit, so posting it here I guess

ALT A Lighthouse report with fake suggestions for improving performance: Minimize main-thread work — 29.5 s; Wait, what? Seriously? — 78 resources found; Are you kidding? — Third-party code blocked the main thread for 2.6 s; Do you want users? — 362 requests • 9,004 KiB; Or did you make this site wrong, as a joke? — 146 long tasks found; Oh, that’s rich — 708 user timings; Is this a site for sloths? — 22 chains found; Did they get TCP to run over Fedex? — 22.9 s; New Record! — 7.81e+11 elements















