I love how, in the modern era of public discourse, your conclusion about any topic - whatever it is - not only invalidates your reasoning, but somehow makes you an aggressor to those whom came to a different conclusion.

I know that one day I am going to sorely miss the noise, the random thumps and thuds that punctuate the waking hours, the constant questions, and the unceasing announcements of the most mundane and useless information you've ever heard. But right now it's so exhausting.

They get a glimpse of that precious ‘Star Trek future’ and show nothing but despair.

Malfoid has evolved into a new form: Competent Lockhart. Freaking yes.

This evening, while the older kids were out with mom and the youngest was asleep, the twins (4yo) were watching a movie while I installed a light fixture upstairs. All of a sudden I heard BLOODY MURDER SCREAMING; the kind of scream where someone is badly hurt. By the sound of it, one of the twins was hurt and the other was crying in sympathy. After rushing downstairs, I discovered that nobody was injured; they were watching Toy Story 3 and were near the end of the movie.

My makeshift sump pump has pumped out 2,347 gallons of water from my basement since the end of June this year! Crazy.

For all of you new parents out there: crying is breathing, and breathing is good.

It’s crazy to watch people advocate for presumed guilt in real time whilst advocating for the presumed innocence of someone who has already admitted guilt. Just bonkers.

So much meowing over this. Just don’t buy it.

Guys, the reason for the 9/11 reverence is that changed the trajectory of our national culture and personal lives in both tangible and intangible ways that is difficult to express to someone who's never experienced anything like it. By 10:00AM we had watched two planes fly into skyscrapers. By 7:00PM, we were watching recordings of people half way around the world *dancing in the streets in celebration* over it. We had no idea why. We were kids. Think of all the outrage generated by the social media celebrations surrounding Charlie Kirk's murder. It was like that, but for reasons we could not comprehend. We almost could not believe what we were seeing. The sense of dread witnessing an entire people celebrating your murder was...hard to articulate. It changes you.

Sorry for the potato picture, but our household has been visited by ‘Murica this morning. I’m sure this means there’s a new firearm hidden on the property. Or my taxes are about to go up. Either one.

Oh man, we're going to be rolling in momey soon.

Hey @grok, create a 'Magic: The Gathering' creature card of me based on my post history.

Distressing event of the week: a pregnant stray cat is in our yard and must have a problematic pregnancy because she's pushing out stillborn kittens all over the yard. The kids are mortified.

"What's it like raising six boys?" They have currently trapped a bee and are planning to *let it sting them* so they can see how long it takes for it to unwind itself from their arms.

God I hate being poor. The debt I’ve taken on for College has been a concrete block on my entire life. What a waste.

One of my favorite “government jobs efficiency” stories: I have to qualify with my M4 every year for the Guard. There’s a video game-like training (think really expensive Super Scope 6) the month prior to live rounds. Last year I missed that month, but shot live and passed anyway. Except I didn’t. Even though I went through the lane three times, each with passing scores, the computer would still output a failing code. I later discovered that because I didn’t complete the video game portion of the M4 training program, my ability to effectively use the M4 via practical exam was meaningless.

Okay, the custom emoji stuff is pretty funny.

The Jawbone UP24. Freaking perfect.

I once owned a Jawbone bracelet and it's wakeup algorithm was perfect. PERFECT. I would give it a window during which I wanted to wake up, and it would detect my lightest sleep in that window and wake me up. I haven't yet found a modern equivalent.

Absolutely infuriating that my miter saw is a few degrees off at zero. I have been trying to make a triangle frame for two hours and couldn't figure out why none of the joints line up.