Paris. Patè. Another year roles by.

Fiona Bruce is going to end up presenting MOTD isn't she.

Waaaay back my dad was on a flight reading a paper. He looked to his left and realised he was Sat next to Pele. Luckily, there was a story about Pele in the sports section, so he signed it 😀 – at Mountsorrel, England

I've made many outrageous statements over the years. Once I said that The Smiths music was derivative of The Muppets. Quite proud of that claim.

Just spent an enjoyable 30 mins playing footy with the kids. Basically, I just kept shouting "Big Wes!" and then clattering into them.

Shove the Champions League up your arse - that's the one I've been waiting for all my life.

Brilliant! We're saved! Uri Geller promises to stop Brexit using telepathy theguardian.com/politics/201…

Half an hour listening to 101 Damnations is never time wasted.

Very happy to find out that Ali Bongo is the President of Gabon. Made my morning that has.

The original Saint Ranieri

End of a very pleasant couple of days.

Damn recounts. I might not get to sleep before midnight.

I always get drunk on Thursday. Elections make me socially acceptable every few years.

Kids in bed. Now to settle in for the long haul. I think it will be a good night for the Monster Raving Loony party.

Currently in Paris. Have eaten more pate than any man should in a single sitting. Discomfort is immense.

US <ahem> trumps UK and reclaims title as dumbest electorate.

Going to bed now. Fully expect Bungle from Rainbow to be running the country in the morning.

Nothing like a divided Europe with a fractious Turkey for a good nights sleep. Oh, and a leader playing the proletariat in the republic.

Quite looking forward to the EU money being turned off in Wales.