I won! I bloody WON! Thank you so much to the judges @bluepencil_edit @bethunderdown @Nelle_Andrew. And thank you #writingcommunity, especially @kirstylogan and @helensedgwick for your support! If you need me, I’ll be over here, doing cartwheels 🤸‍♀️

Don’t land on the big pencil at the #cyclingworldchampionships

Every night in the summer holidays is tottering into the living room when the oldest is finally asleep only to realise that you dismantled the sofa to make a den four hours ago and now you have to summon the strength to rebuild it before you get to sit the hell down.

Celebrating super 70 with Dad 🎂

When did there start being 30 types of plasters? The first aid aisle is all: fabric, waterproof, kids, faster healing, anti-scar, antibacterial, with added zinc, moist healing, dry healing, low adhesive… No-one needs this level of anxiety about what type of wound they have.

Crossing the road back home after an early morning walk and enjoying the roofers who have just turned up the radio to max so they can more thoroughly enjoy Beyoncé. Live long, dance hard, and always remember to instal plenty of vents, gentlemen.

Good morning. Today, in home grown tomato news:

Mums who drop off chocolate with their kid who is coming over for a playdate are my favourite kind of mums.

I have a cut that got infected and I had to buy TCP to wash it out and the smell is giving me traumatic flashbacks to that time in school when the teacher brought in a bucket of recorders soaking in the stuff and we had to take turns to put those things in our *mouths*

Bob, our pet pumpkin plant. He’s always up early, scratching at the back door to go out.

💀 My 4yo wants me to do *everything* for him but NO NOT LIKE THAAAAAT!

I have held onto hope for as long as I could but I *think* this might be the moment I call time of death on our camping plans for tonight.

Advice. Don’t grow pumpkins with your kids. Don’t nurture a seed into a sprawling flowering beast in a pot that your youngest will name Bob after an elderly neighbour he adores and then spend your life hauling all 40lbs of it into your house to protect it every time it rains.

Wow, what IS this thing that seems like halfway a hummingbird, halfway a moth and is going at our lavender bush like it’s the last open bar in town?

Does anyone know how to stop the dinosaurs eating all my strawberries?

Some personal news: I’m thrilled to announce that after eleventy-billion hours and fifty-twelve attempts, my family is now ready to leave the house for the day!

Has anyone else reached that point in the day/week where they’re titling files things like Use This One and Please Will This Work and Final Final before sending them to yourself?