They wanted an excuse to be racist. And when they didn't get one, they falsified information and made one up. Racism is never okay. And lads, the fella was born in Cardiff. Fucking idiots.

Bus station announcer is speaking in wingdings, nobody has ANY idea what he's saying. Pretty sure we're all gonna miss our busses, or die. #busstationapocalypse

Meeting @Helloween4545 to go pussy shopping. Oh no wait, pussy *accessory shopping.

Had the biggest urge to read something nostalgic lately, so alongside my hardback signed (with a lovely note) 'The Language of Flowers' by @VDiffenbaugh, I've also redownloaded the e-book "A Fucked Up Life In Books' by @bookcunt - and both make me feel Big Great Things.

Primark. Help.

New show needs to happen where @jackassworld and @taskmaster get together please 😂 @AlexHorne @gdavies @realjknoxville

OHAI GUYS! Just here for my bi-annual drop in. How IS everyone?! If you're still alive, raise your hand. If you're no longer with us, rattle my ouija board. ✌️

Gonna be needing this fella pls, lads

Listen, if you're not at a pub on Tuesday night playing Scrabble terribly with your Coven High Priestess then what are you even doing with your life.