@ojedge

This is serious, mum.

 London/Waipu
Joined April 2011
  • Tweets30.5K
  • Following275
  • Followers8.1K
3.3KMedia
Ollie Garch (Not Sanctioned) retweeted
Ollie Garch (Not Sanctioned)@ojedge20 Mar 2015
Buy one Oprah, get Winfrey.
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Ollie Garch (Not Sanctioned) retweeted
octopus/caveman@octopuscavemanApr 6
I posted “i am the first man in my bloodline to jack off in an Arby’s” on facebook and my uncle replied “not true.”
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Ollie Garch (Not Sanctioned) retweeted
Ollie Garch (Not Sanctioned)@ojedge17 Jul 2016
Can't afford Apple iPhone Headphones? Hellmann's Squeezy Mayonnaise makes an excellent cheap alternative.
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Ollie Garch (Not Sanctioned) retweeted
Ollie Garch (Not Sanctioned)@ojedge22 Dec 2017
reaching for the last Pringle in the can like
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Ollie Garch (Not Sanctioned) retweeted
Ollie Garch (Not Sanctioned)@ojedge21 Nov 2017
I saw Daniel Day Lewis in my local supermarket today. He kept saying he was ‘an elderly woman’ and to ‘leave me alone’ but I knew it was him. Such a great actor.
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Ollie Garch (Not Sanctioned) retweeted
Ollie Garch (Not Sanctioned)@ojedge22 Feb 2015
"Welcome to Exclamation Mark Overusers Anonymous!" 'Hello!! I'm Mark and I have a problem!!!!!!!" [whole group] "Hi Mark!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
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Ollie Garch (Not Sanctioned) retweeted
Ollie Garch (Not Sanctioned)@ojedge4 Dec 2016
I lerved Herve Leger as the Jerker in Bertmern. RIP. Gern too sern.
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Ollie Garch (Not Sanctioned) retweeted
Ollie Garch (Not Sanctioned)@ojedge5 Jul 2016
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Ollie Garch (Not Sanctioned) retweeted
Ollie Garch (Not Sanctioned)@ojedge27 Jun 2016
I have a Polish friend who is a roadie for a band. I have a Czech one too. A Czech one too. Czech one too.
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Ollie Garch (Not Sanctioned) retweeted
rob delaney
@robdelaney20 Jun 2014
Dildo I just found in my hotel's air vent tastes like lamb vindaloo.
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Ollie Garch (Not Sanctioned) retweeted
Ollie Garch (Not Sanctioned)@ojedge22 Feb 2018
BOSS: why are you late? ME:
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Ollie Garch (Not Sanctioned) retweeted
Ollie Garch (Not Sanctioned)@ojedge5 Oct 2022
help me obi-wan kenobi, you’re my only hope
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Ollie Garch (Not Sanctioned) retweeted
ste(ph)en@stephenjmolloy27 Jan 2016
*air horn sound* *second air horn sound* Me: "This isn't deodorant."
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Ollie Garch (Not Sanctioned) retweeted
Ollie Garch (Not Sanctioned)@ojedge19 Oct 2016
🎶 Whoa we're half way there, Whoa-oh…
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Ollie Garch (Not Sanctioned) retweeted
Ollie Garch (Not Sanctioned)@ojedge1 Aug 2014
My colleague requested I play some Cure but I didn't have any so I played some Placebo instead, which seemed to work.
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Ollie Garch (Not Sanctioned) retweeted
Ollie Garch (Not Sanctioned)@ojedge26 Feb 2017
I just spent 2 hours learning iMovie to make this.
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Ollie Garch (Not Sanctioned) retweeted
Ollie Garch (Not Sanctioned)@ojedge15 Aug 2014
"Hey, Mr Tambourine Man, play a song for me." *shakes tambourine* "Got any others?" *shakes tambourine* "Sounds a lot like the last one"
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Ollie Garch (Not Sanctioned) retweeted
Ollie Garch (Not Sanctioned)@ojedge17 May 2015
Lone Wolf: "I travel alone." Pack Wolf: "Safety in numbers." Steppenwolf: *gets motor runnin'* *heads out on highway*
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Ollie Garch (Not Sanctioned) retweeted
Ollie Garch (Not Sanctioned)@ojedge9 Jan 2016
nothingcomparestothemarket(.)com - Sinead E'Commerce
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Ollie Garch (Not Sanctioned) retweeted
sweatpants cher🔸@House_Feminist13 Feb 2018
*hulk hogan voice* oh brother where art thou
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