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According to psychology, the urge to immediately fix a partner’s or friend’s distress instead of just sitting with them in it isn't empathy; it is your own low frustration tolerance. When someone you love is hurting, and you instantly jump into problem-solving mode, offering unsolicited advice or trying to find a silver lining, you are often trying to soothe your own secondary anxiety. You aren't rescuing them from their pain; you are rescuing yourself from the discomfort of witnessing a vulnerability you don't know how to hold.