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i’m paying, like. $700 per class for people to ask me to do things and then i get mad at them because I do not want to do things
blonde-induced meltdown. Ur in good company
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Can’t believe god just LET Adam name all the animals way back when or whatever. This motherfucker was like “hmm cool bird. Piss penis? NO. peacock.” And god was just like yeah cool bro that’s regular
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“I’m okay with swapping fluids with you, but it’s the intimacy of kissing I’m not okay with, u know?” Sister, to other sister
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procrastinated getting a job for nine and a half literal months and then got a job within 20 hours of applying
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Me: laying in bed
My heart: racing
My brain, unprompted: the power that binds your soul to your body is weakening. Your bones are melting within you. The shadow demon is coming. Prepare
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cant sleep. eating coleslaw and chocolate milk in the kitchen at 2am by the light of the microwave. not my finest moment
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