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Max

@normalguymax

I am a district attorney

 Chicago
Joined May 2009
  • Tweets43.9K
  • Following688
  • Followers934
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Photo by Max (@normalguymax)Photo by Max (@normalguymax)Photo by Max (@normalguymax)Photo by Max (@normalguymax)Photo by Max (@normalguymax)Photo by Max (@normalguymax)Photo by Max (@normalguymax)Photo by Max (@normalguymax)Photo by Max (@normalguymax)Photo by Max (@normalguymax)
Through the power of prayer we have made taken your once dirty oil and made it pure again. That will be $800.
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This is not something I ever have or ever will worry about @Ticketmaster
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“Just drank a fifth of non-alcoholic vodka dare me to vibe?” Gen Z Eminem or something
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Damn thought I had this one in the bag
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Allergies are so silly. A few flowers bloom and all the sudden I’m too itchy to think straight.
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when people talk about how great Chicago is they cite the architecture, the nightlife, the culture, but one of the best things about Chicago is that exactly zero of these “adults who are afraid of Chicago” live here.
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Coming out of wooktirement in 2025
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Your silence is deafening @timheidecker
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Personally, I do not care for Tony Romo.
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Antwuan Dixon’s skate style is so flawless.
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hey do you want to come over and watch 7 hours of commercial free football with me in complete silence
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Heard someone play the saxophone so well that I now understand why Bill Clinton was so popular in the 90s
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What using a Cervical Neck Traction Device for Instant Neck Pain Relief - Gray has taught me about B2B sales
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When are they going to make an Olympics for people in their 30s whose knees hurt when it rains
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I’d clean up in the speed hobble
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If this fbi is reading this I just want you to know there’s a fly in my apartment I can’t kill and would love your help
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my friend @normalguymax caught me practicing crowdwork
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Guy who confuses Nostradamus and Netanyahu
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I skateboard, I snowboard, I only follow the Old Testament. I’m an Ashkegnarly jew.
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Doing a land acknowledgement at the beginning of an AIPAC meeting
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