Ass'l si'thi.

Is this what @realDonaldTrump and @elonmusk mean by “protecting free speech”? Former CNN host Don Lemon arrested after anti-ICE protests at Minnesota church bbc.co.uk/news/articles/c24g…

Just been offered a test drive in a @Tesla. I would rather have experimental haemorrhoid surgery using rusty barbed wire as a scalpel with no anaesthetic. They couldn't pay me enough to own one of those.

I must have done something right then! Either that or someone has a very very very thin skin. I must look back and see what provoked this.

Does Zoe Ball ever work?

It’s time to reintroduce lickspittle into common use.

Interesting. Many people would see @NadineDorries as being “partisan” and “politically obsessed”.

Had to switch off @BBCRadio2 earlier when @Rylan had his mother “singing”. Honestly it was embarrassing to listen to.

Nice to see the police in Bristol building on the good work carried out by @MikeyCycling in London. Mounted police ride after driver holding his phone bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-br…

Last time I was here I was in the audience for @DaveGorman. I can see my seat from here. This time I’m on stage.

Just rereading @billbrysonn Notes froma Small Island and came across his description of Welbeck Abbey. I had the pleasure of playing in a brass band concert in the Ballroom there back in 1988.

I just entered @AutoTrader_UK’s monthly️ #ElectricCarGiveaway & you can too! This month’s prize is a Tesla Model Y worth over £51k! It’s free to enter & you have until 31st January. All information (including Ts&Cs) can be found here: bit.ly/3xDYOHy

Hmmmm. So @parkrun have signed up the COO of News UK and former editor of the S** as a trustee. I can run 5K without them.

Watching #TopGear. A Rimac being driven at Ellington. I bet @RichardHammond is mopping his brow in relief it’s not him driving.

Picked up a net of Oranges in @sainsburys yesterday. The label says “no use by date to prevent food waste”. The oranges were mouldy and rotten. Under EU regulations use by dates were mandatory. #brexitbenefits?

Heading out to see @jennyeclair tonight. Making a note not to be influenced by things she says. I booked to go on zip world after seeing her and @josierones do it on TV. “Do it” says Jenny, I book for my 60th and the country goes into lockdown.

I can’t understand why everyone criticises #Evri. After all, they’ve invented time travel and failed to deliver a parcel over half an hour after they told me the attempt failed.

I was absolutely blown away to meet @KenLoachSixteen outside the Swan in Durham today. I’m sure he meets random chaps carrying a Tuba all the time, but it’s made my day.

Lots of tributes to Lester Pigott, but let’s not forget he was a convicted fraudster. The money he defrauded from the taxpayer should have gone to education and healthcare.

I’ve seen it all now. A Rolls Royce with military escort used to drive a bloody hat through London! #StateOpeningofParliament