@muyrando

ain't no telling what I'm up to https://xitter.cf/t.co/bsyMT2QCvv

 West
instagram.com/muyrandos
Joined October 2011
  • Tweets63.2K
  • Following760
  • Followers3K
6.1KMedia
I'm dumb and I have opinions, I hope I'm in the right place.
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bsky.app/profile/muyrando.bs… ✌️
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Take a deep breath and just remember no matter what happens it's all going to continue to be bad
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Pizza Las Vegas 🍕🎲 retweeted
Pizza Las Vegas 🍕🎲@muyrando1 Nov 2024
Boo! Am I too late?
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Boo! Am I too late?
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If I'm being honest, a lot of this actually is your fault.
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My favorite Halloween themed joke of mine.
Pizza Las Vegas 🍕🎲@muyrando9 Oct 2017
A ghost, a zombie, and a werewolf walk into a bar, the zombie and werewolf are idiots.
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Hit me.
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What a week, am I right?
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I'm having a hard time believing literally any of this
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Pizza Las Vegas 🍕🎲 retweeted
Jason Goes to Hell@benedictsred27 Oct 2024
Last night, I dreamed I met god and he gave me six more pasta shapes.
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There comes a time in everyone's life where they have to do stuff and I think that's bullshit.
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Pizza Las Vegas 🍕🎲 retweeted
Pizza Las Vegas 🍕🎲@muyrando12 Jun 2020
I don't think I'll ever be attractive enough to be a dreamboat, but hallucination-canoe is definitely obtainable.
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I will continue to repost this every year until someone actually does it
Pizza Las Vegas 🍕🎲@muyrando16 Oct 2020
Attractive women of Twitter, I will once again be performing my yearly public service of opening my DMs for the purpose of helping you determine if you're sexy Halloween costume is too provocative. Please send multiple pics from different angles, no need to thank me.
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When you have a younger sibling.
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Aaron Boone simply has too many vowels in his name.
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FREDDIE. FUCKING. FREEMAN.
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It's crazy how I'll get these subtle reminders of how well my sister is doing. Like, often when I visit her very residential neighborhood, there'll be people riding around on horseback and oh yeah, she just sent me pictures from the Dodgers game.
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It's so sad you died before you could like my tweets. *cocks pistol*
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No, they didn't change the recipe. You just enjoy life and everything about it a whole lot less. It's called being an adult, grow up.
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I don't think I have the right temperament to be alive.
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