If all the number 45’s aren’t going to turn up at rush hour why bother getting our hopes up by suggesting they will do on the bus stop’s electronic display? @FirstBSA - 17:25 and following one nowhere to be seen

I went to the supermarket with a mate to panic buy salad veg, but they wouldn't lettuce

Shame everyone's favourite peap Mike can't be on @fantvuk tonight, he's an LFC fan not from Liverpool which Rich is absolutely fine with!

Brexit/Bremain fact of the day: viewers of Masterchef may wish to know that if we leave that a law shall be ... tmi.me/1feAR7

Brexit/Bremain fact of the day: if the leave campaign is successful; Boris Johnson will do everything he can ... tmi.me/1feAR6

Brexit/Bremain fact of the day: if we leave then all amazingly bad Europop shall be removed from the UK ... tmi.me/1feAQZ

Brexit fact of the day: It will become an offence for Brits to speak slowly and loudly to locals whence wearing a vest and drinking Stella.

Brexit/Bremain fact of the day: if we leave then before embarking on holidays within Europe we have to prove we've had injections for rabies

Was a pleasure to meet @iam_jlc earlier to record an interview for our podcast @3PIAPC. Absolute gent, every house should have one. Thanks!!

The changing face of the English language: being sick is something you strive for, smashing it up is ... tmi.me/1f9VS6

Prince Harry is currently clicking on the 'contact me' section of Tila Tequila's website fervently #shen #onapromise #CBB

'Celebrity Big Brother' should be renamed 'Collection of people we don't know or can't remember, that need to pay their mortgages' #CBB

Twitter still going I see, have I missed much?

"famous" for shagging your sisters husband. There's hope for us all yet