@mostly_cheese
 Massachusetts, USA
mostlycheese.bsky.social
Joined August 2017
  • Tweets23.3K
  • Following2.3K
  • Followers4.1K
774Media
Instead of “sorry for the delay,” write “thank you for your patience.” In lieu of “apologies for the oversight,” write “if you’re so perfect why don’t you fucken do it.”
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ME: here comes rick, he's trying to end homelessness RICK: hey guys, how's everyone? ME: hell yeah man that's the goal
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[restaurant in Mexico] Wife: What’s good here? Me: Bueno.
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STOP using THESE FIVE WORDS in your RESUMÉ: fuck, shit, piss, ass, balls
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ME: shouldn't i, the one who has accumulated all the debt, be known as the debt collector? DEBT COLLECTOR: *muffled whispering* ME: DEBT COLLECTOR: i'll call you back
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I got locked out of my house after having dinner at an Italian restaurant. I had gnocchi.
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I’m always surprised that this Jimmy Carter anecdote gets overlooked.
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not the sanctity of our neon-lined megachurch auditorium
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A Dominican baseball player
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These guys were both at Jan 6
Jay Cuda
@JayCuda18 Dec 2024
vikings and patriots hat swap
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This is not a healthy society this is the United States of America
Joshua Reed Eakle 🗽
@JoshEakle9 Dec 2024
Healthy societies don't lionize vigilante killers.
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officer frye patrolling the mcdonalds. was deputy mcnugget there
Pop Crave
@PopCrave10 Dec 2024
Tyler Frye, the police officer who identified Luigi Mangione, talks about the arrest at a press conference: “It feels good to get a guy like that off the street, especially starting my career this way, it feels great.”
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Hitting the last three words in the headline
San Francisco Chronicle
@sfchronicle10 Dec 2024
The recent killing of UnitedHealthcare CEO Brian Thompson in Manhattan has brought renewed attention to the escalating costs of protecting top executives. trib.al/4GUNGGX

UnitedHealthcare CEO’s killing highlights rising tech executive security costs

UnitedHealthcare CEO Brian Thompson’s killing underscores the rising costs of protecting top executives, with tech giants spending millions on security for the likes of Elon Musk and Mark...

sfchronicle.com
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alright party’s over
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Who’s gonna tell her?
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Go to the 00:46 mark
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It's always about bathrooms.
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