Mamdani of Seasoning City

We’ve made a few updates to our site to better serve our citizens. Check it out here! mobdani.straw.page

Glad to be back on Staten Island! 😁

Good Morning, Citizens! It seems like most of the city’s population has ended up in hell. I… haven’t seen this one before. Honestly. I can’t find the other Mayor. …But do know that I’m trying my best to restore order! Expect improvements shortly. I’m taking the subway down.

Nuke Florida ?

Now, we can focus on the special Fall Festival hosted by some of our citizens. I’m designating this weekend as a city holiday, in honor of our brave service members. Now get out and enjoy the nice weather!

The mission was a success! All citizens reported missing have been rescued. This was only possible to the brave efforts of SPOC and our volunteer citizens. For any of those that so bravely helped, you can expect a check to arrive in the mail shortly.

ATTENTION CITIZENS!! Reports of people making it out of this other dimension are now being logged. If you are still missing a friend or family member, please immediately notify us for the sake of rescue efforts.

WANTED: Citizens with navigation and rescue skills and/or a lot of rope. Please inquire below.

…But we’re trying our best to figure it out!

[Taped-off doorways are starting to appear around the city, accompanied by informative and well-designed warning signs. The number of these seems to be increasing exponentially.]

Good Morning, Seasoning City! We are receiving reports of a strange phenomenon where certain walls become permeable entrances. If you find one of these, please IMMEDIATELY turn back and report it to me via my website or messages. Thank you for keeping Seasoning City safe!

Dear God.

Hello, Citizens! We are opening a city-wide TNR program for all of your pets! For the next week, any pet brought into our care center will be taken in free of charge. Thank you all, and let’s work to keep this city safe— not just for humans— but for everyone.

[The little fajita curse is only growing. Watch out.]

[Lowkey walking in, carrying another one] Oh, Mayor!

Good Morning, City! This flea outbreak is bad! We are doing our best to control and maintain it. In other news, I’ve received zero calls about the shelter, and the stray animals are piling up! Please inform everyone you know to check out our page and find their pets. Thank you!