miranda

Broadripple bar scene summed up in one conversation... “I just got out of jail 4 hours ago” “What were u in jail for?” “You don’t want to know” One of a kind guys. One of a kind.

my mother starting CRYING when dad ate last piece of 'homemade pecan pie' so dad gave her the very last bite and suddenly the tears stopped.. rufkm it's pie

my mother is bringing wine to drink while she grocery shops for thanksgiving.. and that my friends is why i have deemed her my #1 inspiration in life xoxo

best part about my moms name being linda is that i can say "but linda listennn" when shes being irrational & not understanding my needs

just a had a full convo like mult minutes w man on phone while ordering food on how to pronounce gyros... y am i this way

lost my parents credit card. they're not even mad i lost it but mad the last purchase was me buying 2 beers and some tots lol priorities

does anyone ever feel the need to accomplish a todo list during the duration of brushing their teeth because lol same me 2

people who shuffle their feet instead of picking them up like normal ppl r the worst don't @ me

My mom told me when she told dad she was preggo w me, my dad just stood there in silence and was very.... "shocked". How lovely

Not somehow finding a way to do a 5th year is top 5 dumbest life decisions. Adult life is some bs I'm over it.. tf is wrong w me

ep. 2 of my passive aggressive mother: bought a $200 apple watch bc she was mad @ dad for not bringing dinner for her from restaurant.. done

purdue.... i miss u

my mom is mad i wouldn't go to the grocery for her so as revenge she put extra mushrooms in the rice for dinner. ur a savage linda