My friend is in labor and just texted me back right away but one time a dude took 12 hours cause "work got a little cray"

I get so few spicy texts these days, it was extremely disappointing the 646 number turned out to be Kathy Hochul

I can’t believe I never noticed this before

This is what it’s like swiping on bumble when your age range is 32-45

When youve spent your career in public service, but thanks to tonight’s shout out will only be known for the bill about outlawing when pretzel companies have less pretzels in the bags than before (which should be ILLEGAL, btw) #SOTU2024

Mike Johnson face inspo part 2 #SOTU2024

Mike Johnson face inspo

Spotify is really making me skip forward on Michael Buble on every Christmas mix

I have 12 weeks until I can read the Britney Spears book. Can someone please tell me if she says anything about the dance off with JT I’ve been thinking about since 2005??

I just realized I’m one Stella D’oro breakfast treat away from becoming my grandmother

This is the most excited I’ve felt about a woman changing her mind since Shiv

Larry David has always seemed so old but whenever I watch a really old episode of Curb I realize how young-old he used to look compared to now

What’s going on with Ben Affleck’s face?

Austin Butler is speaking like he grew up in Memphis in the 30s but I just googled and he’s from Anaheim?! Cmon dude

It’s really different to both watch the Golden Globes and also read every take on Spare at the same time but I will!!

As a connoisseur of sideburns on TV actors I had a crush on during the years 1990-1999, these are 10/10

Every time the camera goes to Brad Pitt, I shake my head like “he’s still got it” like my mom and aunts in the 90s about Robert Redford

Cooking something with flour in it really makes me realize how much I touch my boobs in the course of normal life

I love when a friend sends you a trying on the outfit selfie but I could really do without their sexy selfie face

I think I speak for all elder millennials when I say that it seems like your options are either stay on zombie twitter or starting a mastodon and being the old guy at the club