I hate being destined for greatness

I need to be a fail son just wandering around new york half drunk all the time

Just blow my damn top off why don't ya

In a straight marriage typically the man dies first if they both live into old age, so what my question is is who dies first in a gay marriage the top or the bottom?

I should go back to being a sidepiece its so much fun

Ive done a lot to make sure I dont come across as having a peanut allergy

Clothes store specifically for nudists

I trained myself to not freak out over big things but now I just hate really irrational things lol

If God were real he'd kill everyone who drives a jeep grand wagoneer right now

No its not a hang up about sex! And if anything Im gonna lean into it!

Hello Mean Brunettes, it is lovely to make your acquaintance 😛

I can imagine I would be very hated as a "brother-in-law"

The people in your life who dont read really like it when you say God im such a fucking moron I dont think ill hit even 50 books this year

The most important trait you can have is to be funny. Dont ever come around me not funny

I would never vote for an Uggo

Im a hipster and I hate it