Call me the ONION MAN!!!

i’m walt’s roommate

this was LITERALLY me at the NC fair three years ago except i did not get it working again :/

@CookOut i ordered some items tonight and was charged for chicken strips that i did not get :(

having a damn yard sard tomorrow morning come thru and make us rich

i love to shop

i would only ever become the new father to a daughter born withIN the sanctity of marriage ❤️

i took this pic

just checking the weather

first glance i thought i was looking at some sort of pikmin toy

hanging out at hype house while our landlord says she can’t afford to fix the broken AC before the end of may

meeeeeeeeeeeee ❤️

MEEEEEE AS HELL!!!!!!!!!!!!!

i will NOT bring my nalgene full of water through airport security i will NOT bring my nalgene full of water through airport security i will NOT bring my nalgene full of water through airport security i will NOT bring my nalgene full of water through airport security i will NOT b

every girlboss needs three beverages. one for hydration, one for energy, and one for fun.

so glad they showed what this could look like in my home ❤️

you’re asking her to play iphone 8ball. i already have a game going of iphone 9ball. we are not the same.

airport sold me a deconstructed caesar salad wrap (dressing separate) against my will and i’m REALLY worked up about it

i’m at the mall. i’m shitting. i’m shitting at the mall!!!!!!