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moody monday

@mdob11

Dentist. I like teeth.

 Australia
Joined April 2009
  • Tweets12.8K
  • Following3.9K
  • Followers29.8K
moody monday retweeted
Jon (@ArfMeasures) profile picture
Jon@ArfMeasures13 Jul 2021
Doctor: do you exercise? Me: oh yeah I do all of them, the push-offs, plonks Doctor: Me: cronchies Doctor: I'm gonna put no Me: ok
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Maybe it was never about the stocks but the bonds we made along the way
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xitter.cf/lyricalqt/status/13685…
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I need an outfit that seamlessly transitions from daytime to canceled evening plans.
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*meets someone* *ruins it*
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Me: But baby it's cold outside Him: Ma'am, please just take your pizza
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Date: It's been hard opening up since my father passed aw- Me: *sees a dog* sorry I have to go
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moody monday retweeted
Randi Lawson (@RandiLawson) profile picture
Randi Lawson@RandiLawson3 Nov 2016
Please stop calling this your "journey" Linda. You are selling leggings on Facebook
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2015: making fun of man buns 2016: fascism
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[making small talk at work] What do you think about abortion?
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*kicks 2016 under the fridge*
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The year is 2048. The 👨🏻 mustache man emoji has been elected president for a 2nd term
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moody monday retweeted
Mandatory.com (@Mandatory) profile picture
Mandatory.com@Mandatory5 Apr 2016
Our roundup of 30 of the funniest women on Twitter ft @Lana @albz @Lindzeta @mdob11 & more: bit.ly/1RZUrPM
Image from Mandatory.com (@Mandatory)
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Don't even talk to me before I've had my [60 years pass and then I die]
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Nobody works harder than a drunk person trying to carefully whisper a secret.
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Coworker: *starts a conversation* Me: no thank you
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Me: And then, for absolutely no reason, they changed the stars to hearts! We were all so mad Syrian Refugee: omg please send me back
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