Being the cousin’s boyfriend at a wedding where no one knows you is like being the star player for a 16 seed in the NCAA tourney. You gotta put up numbers and make a name for yourself. Drinks ordered at bar: 23 Great to meet ya’s: 18 Song requests: 8 Toasts initiated: 2

Watching a grown adult yell at a vending machine that won’t dispense their water bottle, only to keep putting more money in the machine. I believe we are at $9.75 spent. Truly some specimens at the Columbus airport.

Who’d have thought, the only way to get the government to do something is to threaten taking away their spring break.

I’m not asking for much. Just another Star Wars movie with battle droids in it.

Whole internet waiting for this post to go live

Happy national signing week on LinkedIn to those who celebrate

Youngstown, Ohio ✨

Can we have a candid conversation about the current state of airport charging stations in 2025?

Uber driver singing “Grenade” by Bruno Mars. Let’s have ourselves a weekend.

McNeese State is about to send my bracket to the shadow realm

Guys will call themselves a “hybrid athlete”. Nah man you’re just a 38 year old dude.

This Ohio State championship means more to all those who casually watched a game or two this fall, those who have never stepped foot on OSU campus, and those who called for Ryan Day’s job than it ever could to you

If it ain’t Sabra hummus don’t hit my line

Woman at the bar: “it’s touch tunes, this is useless money” Me: “it’s better to live for something than die for nothing”

Absolutely locked for the College of Biblical Studies v University of Texas Rio Grande Valley men’s hoops game this afternoon

Drake being on my Spotify wrapped top 5 artists every year feels like a conspiracy perpetrated by the music industry

Open tryouts for Bengals defense this week

Me on any day that’s not Halloween: “Hey that guy over there is dressed like Where’s Waldo. Me on Halloween: “Hey that guy over there is dressed like Where’s Waldo.”