Therapist & trainer since 1995. Brief, solution focused therapy. What actually works in the therapy room. Co-founder Uncommon Knowledge & Hypnosis Downloads
Brighton, UK
Joined February 2009
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Ask a hypnotically anaesthetised person's conscious mind and there's no pain. Ask their body and it says otherwise. Hilgard called it the hidden observer.
#hypnotherapy
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In hypnosis, a pregnant, engaged client told me she'd been divorced for a year. She remembered none of it. Four years later, she was.
#hypnotherapy
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If someone has let smoking embed itself too deeply into their sense of identity then the prospect of stopping smoking will feel like a kind of whole-self annihilation. unk.com/blog/the-art-of-ther…
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Feeling that 'haters gonna hate' no matter what can actually greatly increase social confidence and therefore leave others with a better impression of you. unk.com/blog/research-roundu…
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The brain does not switch off when we stop working. Instead, it switches modes. You don't switch off, you switch over.
unk.com/blog/how-being-lazy-…
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When clients begin to feel that 'I can do something here', even if that something is small, their world changes. Our role is not to give them control over everything. It's to help them rediscover the control they already have, and use it. unk.com/blog/how-to-help-you…
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People with low self-confidence often treat their negative beliefs about themselves as solid facts: I'm just not that kind of person. Ironically, they are often too sure of themselves. Real change begins when that certainty softens unk.com/blog/when-is-self-do…
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We expect 'experts' to have answers. But of course, no expert is required to give an immediate and absolute answer. Truth isn't always hurried, and sometimes we need to watch it emerge in its own time.
Read the full article: unk.com/blog/be-a-better-the…
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Attempts to encourage speech are usually counterproductive in a child with selective mutism. Instead, progress begins when the child feels understood rather than pushed, safe rather than watched, and accepted whether they speak or not. unk.com/blog/treating-select…
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"Metaphors have a way of holding the most truth in the least space." - Orson Scott Card
All clients talk in metaphors, and sometimes the metaphors they use help us understand what they might need – if we are careful enough to notice them. New blog:
unk.com/blog/working-with-cl…
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Stories have a way of being delightfully respectful while containing layers of meaning. They don't tell a client they are wrong to feel the way they do but they can open up doors of possibility for feeling more hopeful. unk.com/blog/when-a-story-sa…
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While empathy is a strength, it can become a liability when it enables abuse. Therapists can help clients separate explanation from justification. This clarity prevents clients from colluding in their own mistreatment.
Read my latest article on my blog: buff.ly/xdjD2LZ
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Kindness in health care begins with listening, because when providers truly hear patients and one another, it leads to better decisions, stronger relationships, and more humane care.
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In healthy dynamics, love and protection equip someone to leave and face the world, but in the devouring mother pattern, they unintentionally become tools to prevent them from doing so.
I've included a video version of this week's article here:
buff.ly/jRGs7vm
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When working with people who've had terrible childhoods, we need to locate their personal strengths and resources. We can ask how, despite what happened to them, they still managed to find success and some fulfilment in the world.
👇 Video case review buff.ly/hFiUwdY
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We have to let others take responsibility for themselves, even young people. To greedily take more of our fair share of the 'blame pie' is to deny others a chance to grow and thrive. buff.ly/m0ULHnI
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If you get too hung up on wanting 'a relationship' as a general idea, you may fall into the trap of flinging yourself at the first vaguely available (or not!) creature to enter the room. buff.ly/qV8mDrO
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In this week's Clear Thinking I give you 5 actionable tips to help you help your low confidence clients overcome the anguish of chronic self doubt.
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Sometimes FOMO is a question of missing out not so much on things we care about, but on things we feel we are supposed to care about. Instead of asking 'What am I missing?', ask 'What truly matters to me?'
Click here to read more: buff.ly/Jj8zjQw
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In the same way that ultra-processed food offers the illusion of nourishment while quietly eroding the body and mind, modern life often serves up a highly engineered version of human experience: convenient, addictive, and hollow.
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