Things you learn in Texas: 1. The guy in the F-150 is worth a lot more than the dude in a Mercedes. 2. The small business owner from a state school is smarter than the majority of Ivy League grads. 3. There’s more racism in Connecticut country clubs than in rural honky-tonks. 4. Rednecks are more honorable than investment bankers. 5. The man who looks like he can’t afford the tab could buy the building. 6. They don’t ask for a deck before the meeting. 7. Prep school is where they send the problem kids. 8. If he’s wearing dusty boots, a 2XL Magellan shirt, a gold Rolex, and has a bulletproof case on his iPhone 12, you’ve already lost the negotiation. 9. “How’s business?” is a real question. “What do you do?” is a New York question. 10. Tips are bigger and egos are smaller. 11. A handshake still closes deals that a term sheet would kill. 12. The wealth is in real estate, oil, or a company nobody in Manhattan has ever heard of. 13. Your wife or daughter will never struggle finding help to change a tire. 14. Nobody asks where you went to college. 15. A weekend invitation to their ranch makes you part of the family.