EU: "We have a special relationship with the USA!" USA: "Sweet. So we have a trade problem. We're buying all your stuff, which is cool. But you don't buy any of our stuff." EU: "Okay. But that doesn't really matter, right?!" USA: "Well. Since our market is so full of your stuff, that's less room for our own stuff. Which would be fine. But we only really sell our stuff to us, because... you don't buy our stuff." EU: "Okay, I guess. But really, we can't buy your stuff because of the dollar." USA: "Well, that's one barrier. But you also create more barriers." EU: "No, we don't!" USA: "You tariff us." EU: "Well, we need to!" USA: "And your VAT taxes make imports nonviable in your markets." EU: "That's to protect our own markets!" USA: "Great, so you understand what we're doing perfectly. We're tariffing you." EU: "YOU CAN'T DO THAT!" USA: "Well, until you remove those barriers, we are doing that." EU: "YOU HATE WESTERN CIVILIZATION!"

EU: "We have a special alliance with the USA!" USA: "Sweet. Hop on. We're gonna go make mincemeat out of terrorists." EU: "Omg racists don't you know how to negotiate?" USA: "K fine, bombing them without you." EU: "Oh, no, the terrorists won't sell us oil anymore! Damn you, USA!" USA: "We have plenty lol. You should buy some from us." EU: "No, you're racist and sell things in dollars with your dollar imperialism." USA: "Ok... well you can go secure your own oil sales." EU: "No, you have to secure my oil for me or else we're your vassals." USA: "Not really seeing the point in continuing this relationship." EU: "YOU HATE WESTERN CIVILIZATION!"