guy who insists there is an incestuous subplot in every piece of classical literature he has read

guy who fucked up and accidentally made an incest baby

guy who probably knows more about pokemon than his degree

guy who got confused and thought he was supposed to pee BEFORE sex

guy who was so broken by his time at Oxford some DPhil student is studying him and inventing a new disorder

guy who's doing the all souls exam "just for fun" with full intention of turning it down if he somehow gets through

guy who likes to have sex blindfolded so he can better imagine it's with his tutor

guy who didn't know they let scottish people into oxford

guy whose life mostly revolves around tonsilitis

guy who is dropping out because the stress of his degree is making him go prematurely bald

Guy who was too scared to open his results and just assumed he passed only to discover at graduation that this was not in fact the case

Guy who is a classicist and so makes a point of only using Trojan condoms

Guy who horny tweeted so badly there's an actual warrant out for his arrest

Guy who chooses his sexuality & gender identity based on which flag is cutest

guy who is a biohazard

Guy who is on an insane coke binge (as a bit)

guy who is covid negative but just decided to isolate for a week because he needed a break

guy who got chemical burns from eating pussy

guy who is dating his ex's ex's ex

guy who did a 48h lesbian first date on zoom