This is an American hero. Not Donald Trump. Not Elon Musk. Steve Buscemi is.

No one: My dog:

Let me see those F's for DEICE.EXE

If I go to a carnival and they don't fucking play Whitesnake - Here I Go Again, I'm fucking leaving.

Well?

Valve in 2004: Yo dawg, I heard you loved Half-Life, so we're going to make a sequel that is even better than it somehow. It will remain as the best rated video game of all time for over 20 years. Valve in 2025: We're making the 2nd sequel to a game that no one asked for, again.

Who else pops TicT acs like you’re Dr House?

Hey @grok list all of Donald Trump's felonies.

Whose budgie like this even after 5+ years:

Congrats @Dodge Every sports car and super car today looks like a Viper. That’s got to be the biggest flex in automotive history

Never under any circumstance forget to splash a glass of water onto it after it's been applied.

When your crush is nearby and you have to act natural.

TIL, gloves keep your hands warm when it's cold.

My thoughts are with Aubrey Plaza and her family. Losing a spouse at such a young age is crippling. Mental health is no joke.

Ever finally get to sit down after a long chore and be like "Fuck it, I'll just pee my pants."

Kamala rn

Do you remember when you joined Twitter? I do! #MyXAnniversary

Now found permanently damaged at your local thrift shop for %10 off!