Maddie

My EP is here if u wanna listen and also if u wanna feel kinda sad (u know like, high school chill emo playlist kind of sad) open.spotify.com/album/0dxNs…

My mom was leasing a car. She died. Nissan is not letting us return the car early because my uncle co-signed the contract so “it’s on him.” SHE. FUCKING. DIED. @NissanUSA @Nissan you should be ashamed.

Say what u will abt Jeff bezos but I for one think it’s great that u can get pets delivered to your door in 2 days

LSAT be like .. BUSSY is to BUTT as THRUSSY is to : A. Throat B. Thumb C. Thermos D. Thor Ragnarok

Used to fear the police, jail, etc when sneaking food into the movie theater you’d think it was smuggling drugs over the border lmao

No offense but i legit can’t believe we’ve been letting men run things all this time like.. if the men I’ve worked with in ANY job are any indication .. no wonder the world is ending ?? Like ??? Duh ???

The fact that shark week exists is so cute… Like humans just watching shows about sharks for a week it’s so adorable

If ur a capitalist in 2022 u have Stockholm syndrome 🤷‍♀️

Too blessed to be stressed too stressed to be depressed too depressed to get dressed

Job interviews are so funny bc it’s just lying

The pregame is the cookie dough, the bar is the cookie.

I’ve started saying “good job!” to myself when I do hard things and I’ll tell ya it’s really nice

Has anyone made this comparison

Having to explain to my new roommate all my different cries so they know when to ignore and when to worry

Reminds me of the time I called my landlord bc I smelled gas and the gas company came and it turned out to be my trash:/

Would have given the same presentation sober

I’m really bad at boundaries but I’ve gotten really good at saying no to hikes

JUSTICE FOR BARB & STAR

Why is “letting yourself go” considered a bad thing idk sounds niiceeee

Getting more n more mad that we’re just expected to keep doing stuff when shit is so fucked like u rly want me to keep doing stuff r u serious ???

Good news but CANCEL EM COWARD