𝙻𝙸𝚅𝙸𝙽𝙶 𝙾𝙽 𝙇𝙊𝙊𝙋.

yeah we know

...Y'know, I completely forgot about that

What's wrong with cats?

[ back into the closet. ] He didn't... succeed, right? From the way you're talking, I can guess that he probably didn't, but... shit, dude.

... [ Okay, to be honest, I didn't expect... that. Probably because I thought Ari wouldn't bother actually going back to any guy's place after our whole breakup, but——... Fuck. That's my fault, too, isn't it? She wouldn't even *be* in that situation if I didn't force her—— ]

Thrilling answer.

Ari, being surprised that a guy's trying to fuck on the first date is like being surprised that the Earth rotates. You kinda should've expected it. Yeah, because you love me. For whatever ungodly reason.

[ I sorta just let him, a scowl on my face. ] What do I even *have* in common with a puppy?

[ Going along with it doesn't mean I have to *like* it, though. I roll my eyes. ]

[ I was gonna argue more, but then I remembered that the last time I did that, it sorta caused a crazy chain reaction that led to Emily killing herself and the timeline resetting. Just go with it. ] ...I guess.

are you calling me a puppy

Huh. Am I a bad person for thinking she totally killed herself? ...no, dumb thing to say — I'm a bad person no matter what. Anyway, you'd think *someone* would've seen her by now, right? I basically turned her into a local celebrity with my whole stunt on her play.

Yeah, Megan. I wonder if she's still alive.

get *too* emotional. Like... fuck, what was her name? Theater kid, really whiny?

Then again, I might just do it for different reasons. I'm only— *like* this because my dad... well, y'know. Seems to be a defining event or whatever, so I doubt that'd change in this hypothetical. Maybe it happens out of grief. Maybe instead of being so emotionally detached, I——

well i guess neither of that really applies to me alright fine c'mere

one as a guy, either.

Yeah, because that's a very normal thing to say to your girlfriend. [ I roll my eyes. ] Anyway, I dunno. If I'm not a mass shooter *now*, and the majority of my existence thus far could probably be used as a cautionary tale on how *not* to raise a kid, I probably wouldn't be——

dude do i have to do all 100