The fact this needs said is such a shame to modern Christians and churches. The entire Bible gloriously displays God's goodness in that he never expects his children to pick themselves up by their bootstraps, and there are no "self-made" men in the Scriptures.

Young man, “Hey Steve, I wanted to talk with you. I really want to grow as a husband and father, do a better job leading my home, loving my wife, training up my kids, providing and more, can you help me?” Older man, “That is great to hear, we are just about to start our next round of men’s ministry, we meet one to two nights a week and lift together or train self-defense, you’ve met Steve who leads that… while memorizing some Scripture and working through the London Baptist Confession and generally just encouraging one another while knocking out some practical things we need to do as men...” YM, “Oh, that sounds like it would be awesome… I’ve gained some weight and could really use to exercise more… but we are so financially tight right now, and my wife seems so tired most of the time and we are both stressed out with having four under six... I really struggle with patience when I get home and the house is a wreck and we have had a number of fights lately…” OM, “Hmm… that’s understandable. I’m sure for both of you this is a challenging season. We only had three total, and it was really difficult at times. Also, didn’t you both come from smaller families, and your parents were divorced? I’m sure all that plays into What kind of practical help is Sarah getting during the day while you are at work from any family or friends… ” YM, “She’s not getting any really… and we have so many bills from the new baby, I have had to take overtime so I am gone even more leaving for work an extra hour or so early… groceries and other bills since the twins started eating solid food… OM, “I can’t imagine what it is like right now, with the economy the way it is, and then having more kids. Did your work insurance not adequately cover the birth? I know your son had a few unexpected issues and maybe a few days extra at the hospital? I will mention this to the deacons. Also, you know the older families have a help fund for younger families, and a few of the older ladies who enjoy thrifting keep a “family list” - you give them the ages and sizes of your kids and what clothes and any other things, and when they go thrifting a few times a month, they get items families in the church need. I will have my wife reach out to Sarah so you all can be added to the list…” YM… “Oh, wow… thank you. Yeah, we ended up having a lot more bills than we thought we would… I thought I had chosen the right insurance when I switched to this new job last year, but clearly I messed that up…” OM, “That isn’t surprising, it’s really confusing. . How about this, why don’t Jeff and I meet with you sometime that works and help you go over your finances, insurance and similar stuff. Also, while you are at work, are you free to talk on the phone at all? Maybe when you are driving from site to site? YM, “Yeah, I am… I have a few coworkers, but none of them are believers, and honestly, very few are even decent men at all… and I do… it’s not predictable, but I would love to be able to talk with an older fellow believer during the week.” OM, “ What is your number? We can text and when our schedules allow, talk some as we can. I am sure between commute and other breaks we can find a time here or there to catch up. When is the last time you and Sarah had a few hours together?” YM, “ I honestly can’t remember… probably before the baby…” OM, “well, we need to fix that. Why don’t I see when my daughter is free to come watch the kids for just an hour or two - so you two can have a few minutes together without the kids. Here is a gift card to use so you can eat at Jay’s - he’s the member of the church with a great place to grab a good bite to eat when you don’t have a lot of time…” YM… “You really don’t have to do that…” OM, “Oh, I wouldn’t have given an arm, but maybe a finger or two for a few minutes break from the kids for me and my wife when I was your age, we had quite a few fights just from always being in mom and dad mode and we had some help from our family who were close by… its a really small thing and we are very happy to be able to help.” YM…”Thank you…” OM, “We will talk soon. Make a list of some areas you want to talk about, and I’ll look forward to following up in the next few days. Appreciate you , Jack. Having you and Sarah as part of our church is a real blessing to many of us, and we know you all are in a challenging season. So let’s let others help as the Bible says and shows. And maybe once you all are a bit more caught up financially and family wise, you can come to the men’s gathering on occasion, when it is actually good for you and your home. Chin up, good day brother.”

Brothers, If you desire to be truly good at something, to truly accomplish anything of lasting worth, to leave a legacy or make a worthwhile impact on some aspect of the world... The idle should be accusing you of having idols. It should strike those around you that you are a bit too into it... a bit too... fanatical. Crazy. Obsessed. This honestly is a very good metric. If a good and godly goal or ambition of yours isn't making at least a few people raise their eyebrows and scratch their heads, then you are probably not pursuing it hard enough. "Why he is up early lifting again..." "Why do those stock price alerts keep going off on his phone?" "Do you really train four times a week?" "Whoa, you track everything you eat a few days a week?" "Man, you are in that garage almost every night working on that car..." "You are going to another seminar on how to do X better? Didn't you go to one last month and didn't you also just do that online course..." Folks will claim you are in danger of or have an idol... while they idle away their life Indeed, one of the real idols of our day? Mediocrity for men. But Bezalel and Oholiab didn't get to build God's temple by being average. Mediocre men don't get the honor of standing before kings. If a good and godly goal or ambition isn't requiring sacrifice, schedule changes, and more... and thus upsetting some folks or ruffling the feathers of some folks in your world... then you are probably not pursuing it hard enough