26 | God’s with me, I can’t lose. | Prev: @G2Esports | @Avengie99 | Inquiries: avenger@g2esports.net
Forever Blessed
Joined January 2019
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Avenger retweeted
sorry i promised a longer tweet and its been a minute, had a lot going on. i really appreciate all of the kind words and everyone who reached out i wish i couldve replied to all of u but uhhhh my track record with the whole replying to ppl thing already isnt so great and me and my family have been going thru a lot recently.
just around when i was retiring, i learned that id lost my brother. didnt rly wanna talk about it on socials cuz honestly i figured the public outpour of sympathy would prolly do more harm than good for me but im in a better place in terms of sharing now and i feel its my obligatory duty to try and reach the people stuck in the 16 hour ranked -> nap -> repeat cycle. if thats u im begging u to take a minute to go hug the people u care about in ur life and tell them how much they mean to u, its so easy to watch years slip away to the grind without ever looking around and remembering wat its all for. i feel like all i do is speak in dumb cliches lately but the older i get the more i realize theyre all cliches for a reason.
if the 16 hour ranked people are still reading, u might wanna read a couple more lines. it might seem obvious but going thru this really only made it more clear to me that this shit isnt for me and retiring was the right decision, i dont think ill ever want to compete in esports ever again. if thats the only reason u followed this account and u wanna dip thats chill and understandable.
i hoped to have more of a concrete answer in terms of what i want to do going forward for u guys by now but uhh with everything i aint rly got there yet. ive lowkey just been having fun learning new things, writing a bit, most of my time lately been going towards learning flstudio. idk. its been really nice to pursue hobbies that actually bring me joy and give me good thoughts and dont require me to abuse drugs and neglect my health!! its so much easier than u think to just try new stuff and have fun and i dont rly know abt all this yet but i feel like the voice in ur head that keeps going "u suck at this and u need to be the fucking greatest like yesterday" probably gets quieter the more u pursue things for love and passion. ill get back to u on that tho.
i have lost my train of thought. iunno i think im just gonna keep taking some time to find things that bring me joy and perhaps some day soon i will make something that i feel proud of enough to share with u guys, or perhaps i will decide that all of that isnt for me and ill leave behind some sort of insane rambling manuscripts or something to be found decades after my death in a small cabin in the woods somewhere. might turn the stream on to yap and farm some shitty arpg at 5am occasionally if thats chill.
u guys are awesome and if u truly love esports thats awesome but just remember to take a minute sometimes, ykno? and also maybe its really important to have other things in ur life that bring u joy just in case this shit ever stops and u dont know wat to do with urself. later for now
ggs to swimtrek, well played 🫡
i fear that might be the last time yall see me in the server, or at least for a while. been a long time coming. passion machine ran dry, this shit obliterates ur mental and physical health, and i fear there’s really no getting over the “im providing negative value to the world” brainworm. think its time for me to try something else, dont really know what but ima figure it out :) ill be around here and there, mayb tweet some dumb shit, mayb turn the stream on once in a blue moon…. really won’t be much different
i’m legit writing this post match so i’m sure there’s about 10000 things i want to say that i won’t get out rn, might make another tweet at some point, but mostly i just wanted to say thank you to my teammates for being so patient with me as i’ve struggled these past few months, and a big thank you to all of the people in my life who got pushed to the side for this stupid nonsense…. i love u guys lots, it’s been really cool getting to be kind of a somebody for a little while but that’s about enough of that for now.
never gonna forget any of u, whether we keep in touch outside of da game or not 🥹
for one last time, god willing: 0.1 ingame 1600 dpi no accel hyperion soft lamzu inca/g pro superstrike
Avenger retweeted
one day you’ll stop playing valorant for the last time.
you won’t know it’s your last game.
you’ll just… stop queuing.
life happens. you get busy. you move on.
and somewhere in the back of your mind, you’ll wonder.
what rank could i have hit if i actually tried?
not the “i play for fun” cope.
not the “i could hit radiant if i grinded” lie you tell yourself.
actually tried.
actually vod reviewed.
actually treated the game like it could give you something back.
you’ll think about the version of you that didn’t tilt after pistol.
the one that didn’t blame teammates.
the one that locked one agent and learned it properly.
you’ll think about the duo you never found
because you gave up on people after one bad game.
the friend you ghosted after a loss streak
who could’ve been your best teammate.
some people meet lifelong friends in ranked.
their teammates.
their careers.
you’ll never know what was on the other side
of the queues you didn’t play.
the rank you didn’t push for.
the people you didn’t give a second chance.
every dodge.
every “i’m not feeling it tonight”.
every “this lobby is doomed”.
was a choice.
and choices add up.
you’re writing that story right now.
with every game you don’t review.
every excuse you make.
every queue you skip.
make sure it’s a story you can live with.
study the VALORANT way
Avenger retweeted
I needed to be broke, so I could learn to not idolize money. I needed to be treated bad, so I could appreciate kindness. I needed to have jobs I hated, so that I could work hard in that which I love. I had to stray from God, so I could understand that there's nothing better.
Avenger retweeted
The rumors at first werent true, but they might be now.
After all the positivity regarding my assumed comeback in VAL and the shutdown of impact, it made me think a lot about my future and where I want to be.
I’ve now decided that I’m open for VALORANT offers going forward.
Visiting Tokyo, Osaka and Kyoto in Japan changed my life. Life is too short not to live it. Everyone needs to save a couple to few grand and just go.
Avenger retweeted
From @valynfps : "Life of a competitor is the hardest thing ever man. You go through the lowest lows, and you also reach the highest highs with the team you have. There is no life without losses in everything you do."