I think the reason we were born with two hands is so that we can pet two dogs at one time

Tonight we taught my mom the difference between thick and thicc. Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good night.

We'll have to miss out on our first night in our hotel, which can't be refunded, and had to spend our whole day stressing over it and sorting it out on our own. #notimpressed @EVAAirUS

Today our flight to Bali for our HONEYMOON, with @EVAAirUS was cancelled. We received little to no information, other than just contact the airline. We called over 40 times and never got through, we finally had to drive two hours out of our way to speak with the airline in person

When you get called off work on Mother's Day, and they tell you to relax and not answer your phone... and then call you back asking you to work less than ten mins later.

Me xitter.cf/cuteemergency/status/9…

Today I slipped and fell in the middle of the superstore produce section. I spilled my coffee, broke two nails, bruised my ego and broke one of my eggs. Think I can sue?