i think it would be nice to have a gay or asexual or perhaps just traumatized boyfriend so that we would never breach the barrier of intimacy (scary, bad) but could still like watch movies and live together and choose curtains for our apartment perhaps

something about celebrity suicides stirs a strange longing inside of me. i know it’s wrong. but i want to be the the dead daughter, the dead sister, the dead lover and friend. they can only ever remember the good once you’re dead; you can make no more mistakes