East Lansing, MI
Joined March 2022
Waking up in 2020 after busting to Celina Smith leaks for the 8th time in one day
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Outcome of pulling up uninvited to theta around the world with thing 1 and thing 2 matching jugs with your boy
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When life’s starting to go good so they genuinely cancel theta hayride and your cars transmission blows up
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Good googly moogly can I do dust off those AXO cannons?
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retro theta chi balls retweeted
Keep this shit as far from Athens, Georgia as possible
JUST IN: Elon Musk's Tesla $TSLA officially unveils new flying Roadster.
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Sorry babe gotta cancel on hayride. My bespoke Peter millar flannel isn’t shipping on time
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Night recap: 1/6 on hayride self invites. Pleased with that outcome. Called half Chinese zeta chick “chinaman”, she wasn’t thrilled. Made Cornell 7 jokes at AXO bday party. Dropped my bitmoji at axo bday party and still haven’t touched snap. Overall good night.
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retro theta chi balls retweeted
I'll immediately forget every single problem I've had with this administration if she gets deported to Mogadishu.
🚨 BREAKING: Ilhan Omar’s staff officially CHANGED HER “BIRTHDATE” in public records in 2019, which could be a reason DHS RAIDED Omar's DC house this week, per NYP The 1-year age change is the difference between her being a LEGAL CITIZEN or not. Omar's ORIGINAL birthdate and place was listed in the official Minnesota record as Oct. 4, 1981 in Somalia for ALL the years she was in the Minnesota House. She never challenged it. She was publicly CLAIMING a birthdate of 1982, so a political opponent accused her of LYING about her age--as her birth year was listed as 1981--so staffers then CHANGED it to Oct. 4, 1982 The reason this is important is because if her ACTUAL birthdate is Oct. 4, 1981, that'd mean she would've been INELIGIBLE to legally become a US citizen in 2000. An easy case for de-naturalization, as under the immigration rules applicable in 2000, a child generally needed to be under 18 at the time a parent naturalized (and meet other conditions such as lawful permanent residence and residing with the parent) to automatically derive citizenship. An 18- or 19-year-old would NOT qualify under that minor-child pathway and would instead need to naturalize INDEPENDENTLY as an adult. So if the feds can prove she LIED about her age on her naturalization documents, and she was actually an adult, it's likely OVER for her. She'll be going back to Somalia 🔥 🎥 @TMZ’s @jacob_wass (May 2026)
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How chicks be waiting to pull out the parents weekend excuse when they don’t want to come to Ronto with you
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Followed my ex on ig off 30 surfsides yesterday but I think she forgot to follow me back. Maybe she just hasnt seen the noti yet?
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I’m boutta just start inviting myself to sorority shit. Oh you got hayride? Bet, I’ll be there.
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Dudes will call themselves “ceo” on LinkedIn for their small business you’re a grown ass goofy
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Dudes be smelling like shit and will say it’s “pheromones”
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retro theta chi balls retweeted
first dates are tricky i never know if i'm talking about fracking enough
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How does big John stay lean bro drinking that much
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Dudes be butt ugly sleeping in a Tent outside fieldhouse for the big John event
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retro theta chi balls retweeted
Fuck could u imagine pledging pike rn with big john golf’s in town. That lineup is gonna be brutal. They’re prolly gonna haze tf out of them. They’re gonna haze the shit out of them. Fuck they’re gonna haze them so good. #chills #fuck
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Saturday plan: pledge is going to drive me via wheelbarrow to the darty. Chelsea boots + 3 inch boosters equipped. Roku remote in the pants for the bulge enhancer. Be akward around chicks at the darty and talk to only alumni. Sounds like a plan.
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What does the big John field house event consist of? Like is he just going to be posted up on the dj booth or going full magic mike? My girl has tickets should I be worried?
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When bro says Yo bro let’s invite girls over! But our setup is two beach chairs. Glass table with so much dust residual it isn’t even funny. 18 pairs of car keys laying out with dust residual falling off. 1855 bacon cheeseburger trash to the ceiling. Pizza boxes as a tv stand.
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