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ignorance is far from bliss || mid 20s - mdni || i block drugtwt (3+yrs clean)

edtwt
Joined August 2025
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almost made it to a month, but couldn’t take these last 9 hours… yesterday was social hell and today everyone needs something from me non-stop too
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so this is just how it’s gonna be? it’s really either you die of complications, or you live in a body that you don’t recognize in the mirror? unable to undress in front of someone, unable to undress in front of yourself?
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so 2 weeks ruined what i lost / maintained for half a year+?
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recovery is a sick, sick joke, 2 weeks of not purging (and not really binging) —> +10 pounds
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i want to die actually
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to all the bulimics: after 6 years the doctor said i have ruined my tonsils with purging and smoking and while right now i’m not dying, i have to quit everything urgently or i have severe risks of worse things. wish me luck and don’t be like me #edrtwt #edtwt
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oh i also need 3 tooth implants 😂😂
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bliss revival era with drinking and restricting maybe?
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okay so what am i supposed to do now those were my only coping mechanisms…?
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you ever look at an old photo and realize that version of you had no idea what was about to happen next
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i must have died when i attempted as a teenager and all the following years are either a bad dream or literal hell
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i feel like i’m very well past the point of no return, it’s ugly: throat and chest constantly in pain, can’t stand up some days, mind not working right
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it has been a long winter, last time it snowed it was april 20-something…
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before i went offline for a bit it was eternal winter so how do i keep up the cold aesthetic…
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relapsed in sh after nearly 2 years clean well hello everyone
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i’m back
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冷たいまま、離れない。
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