Lara with the NHS

Happy Halloween! 🎃 #halloween2021

By telling your child it’s hide and seek time!

When Chris and I decided to have a baby I really didn’t think negotiating over how many times it is acceptable to open and close a kitchen draw would be a daily occurrence. Or that it would involve so much crying. #toddlerlife

Jesus Christ, he looks like he’s about to rush her.

The Universe: I see your baby has been sleeping through the night for two weeks! Me: yes, it’s been amazing. TU: how many teeth does he have? M: *nervous* still just six. TU: oh really? Just six. Interesting. M: *panicking* we’re fine with six. We don’t ne- TU: HAVE FOUR AT ONCE.

Proof that lighting and a good camera make all the difference 😂

Well-meaning stranger on the street: it must be great working from home with him so small. You could just pop him down with some toys and get on with it. Me: haha. Hahahahahaha. Hahaha. *cries*

My one year old is actually an extremely moody teenager 😬

After a full day of waking up early, playing with the baby, feeding him, starting work, cleaning the kitchen, finishing work, bathing the baby, putting him to bed, and enjoying a glass of wine I was infuriated when the neighbours played loud music so late at night. It was 6.30...

Here’s the thing about baby proofing your kitchen cupboards - you, the parent, constantly forget you’ve done it and it takes twice as long to make a bowl of cereal. #babyproofing

Yep.

What a difference a year makes. 🥰

Which part of this headline is the focus?

My kid has been teething for months and you’re telling me we have another year to go?!? #teething

You’re all welcome.

Today I had a ten minute argument about fire safety with someone who can’t talk yet.

Class.

Me, on a selling site: “this item is free.” Member of the public: “what’s the lowest price you would accept for this?” Me: “ ... £10?” Them: “I can get it elsewhere for £5.” Me: “You do that.” WTF??