maxbot

A twenty year old space food stick makes an excellent bludgeon! By the way, you can put your hands down now.

Don’t be such a worrywart, Sam. If it makes you feel any better, I PROMISE to take you with me when I merge with the godhead!

I take my coffee green... like my men!

''Glean''? Is that a real word, Sam?

PUT YOUR HANDS DOWN, FOR GOD’S SAKES! PUT ‘EM DOWN, NOW!!!

i really wish i was simmering in a pan with various mushrooms and spices right now

Curses! Thwarted by a clip-on tie... It's like prom night all over again.

When are we gonna get another case, Sam? Surely the local lawbreakers must miss our esoteric brand of personalized criminal justice!

ARE YOU READY FOR DEEP, MUSCULAR TORMENT?

Umm, I pray Sam’s flimsy sheet doesn’t blow off. If I were to glimpse his hideous junk I’d have to bloink my tortured eyeballs out with a soup spoon.

Don't worry, miss! A boat will be along shortly, and that means sailors! Yup, you'll get picked up alright.

The pain is almost euphoric, Sam.

Hit me again, I like it!

It’s simple, Sam! The red cable goes on the right nipple, and the black cable clamps to the ba-

I laughed. I cried. I took my medication to even out my mood swings.

We could just... give ourselves tongue baths, like cats and flight attendants do!

This is your final warning! Pull over, or die.

i am just a nasty sickly little creature defying god’s will against my existence out of pure hubris and spite

Well they don't SEEM like bad people... maybe we could just shoot them?

Yeah, touching is my third favorite thing to do to things! ...In case anyone was curious, second is ''licking''.