Star Alliance lounge CDG – these sausages are labeled Halal and are extremely lurid, as you can see. Also, I forgot to mention that virtually everybody in this lounge is drinking champagne.

Star Alliance lounge CDG – the buffet contains a lot of typical American breakfast items – scrambled eggs, and sausages--and some congee, which is pretty tasty – and this extremely murky unidentified soup

Star Alliance lounge at CDG – the Self Serve alcohol area is surrounded by this wall of rosé – but alas, there is none available. Just a truly shitty Sauvignon Blanc....

British Airways lounge terminal five Heathrow. Food here is very strange. There are these pizzas and a pile of finger sandwiches. They're mostly egg and tuna... plus a Korean curry that I'm not really brave enough to try…

British Airways lounge terminal 5 Heathrow. A place that makes you want to say come back JFK all is forgiven! A zoo. 15 minute Line for the bathrooms, However, they are serving this reasonably decent rosé and it is self-serve which as you all know is my favorite kind of Serve.

United Polaris lounge EWR. Bar just opened at 6 AM. There was a line of about five people waiting. The first drink ordered was an IPA. Not sure that's what I would choose to drink at this hour, but who am I to judge? This is the rosé on offer not quite sure I can drink it yet...

United Polaris lounge EWR. They just started bringing out hot food – this is definitely the most exotic thing on the buffet. Can't quite bring myself to try it. I think I'm being put off by the cream cheese frosting…

United Polaris lounge at the crack of dawn. I left the east Village just as all the bars were closing. No hot food yet… Bar not open yet… So this is all they're offering at the moment.

Delta club Seattle --the floor I'm on is extremely crowded and the upper floor I think is Delta one but I'm not even sure what Delta 1 flights are actually leaving tonight. Does not seem to quite make sense.

Redmond Airport, Oregon. No lounges in sight but a pretty nice bar.

Sea airport – S gates, which are somewhat remote. There is a priority pass around here and increasingly rare thing… These are the abysmal wines on offer.

Delta lounge JFK – Made my way here like a lemming. It is 5 AM. The bar is still closed although the bloody Mary brigade is circling. These luminous egg bites caught my eye.

Delta one lounge LAX. I saw this machine in the corner and attempted to use it to fill my water bottle. But it turns out it's sole purpose is to clean your glasses!!

DFW airport-- stop over on my way to Chapman U to speak for a few days.I’m staying at an “Inn” in Chapman-which I HATE--but its the only place walking distance to campus (when I do these trips give me a faceless Hilton with a good bar and frozen French fries— I HATE “character”!

American Airlines lounge, EWR. This is the lunch switch over. Giving off middle school cafeteria vibes.

American Airlines lounge, EWR – this is kind of a nice idea! But the bacon is limp and the eggs are powdered…

American Airlines lounge, EWR. The QR code indicated that there was a delicious minuty rose on offer – but alas – all they have is this dismal group of Chardonnays....

Iberian flight Madrid to JFK – I'm not gonna get into Airline Food reviews because there's a lot of that around – however they did serve a pretty fantastic Alberino. Unfortunately, everyone else thought so too, and they ran out very quickly are now serving an undrinkable rioja

Iberian lounge Madrid airport--they just switched over to lunch service. This is the most complicated thing at the lounge. The rest of the fare is a lot of croquettes and tortilla. Sandwich actually isn't bad although it's a tad gummy.

Greenwich lounge JFK. The bloody Mary station doesn't seem to exist anymore – and the only Self Serve appears to just be Wine Beer and… This! Which people are flocking to in droves.