the intensity of a woman's orgasm is directly proportional to the length of the arousal period that preceded it. a 5 minute arousal period produces a mild orgasm. a 20 minute arousal period produces a moderate orgasm. a 45 minute arousal period produces the orgasm she describes to her friends. the correlation is not linear. it is exponential. the difference between 20 minutes and 45 minutes of buildup is not twice the orgasm. it is a categorically different neurological event. the mechanism is vasocongestion accumulation. arousal causes blood to flow into the pelvic tissue. the tissue engorges. the engorgement increases nerve sensitivity. more engorgement means more sensitivity means a stronger signal sent to the brain during orgasm. the amount of blood in the pelvic tissue at the moment of orgasm determines the intensity of the contractions and the subjective experience. 5 minutes of arousal produces partial engorgement. 20 minutes produces moderate engorgement. 45 minutes produces maximum engorgement. the relationship between time and intensity explains why the "quickie" almost never produces a strong female orgasm. the quickie works for men because male arousal reaches peak engorgement in 2 to 5 minutes. the female erectile tissue (which is 4 inches of internal structure surrounding the vaginal canal) requires 15 to 25 minutes for full engorgement and 30 to 45 minutes for maximum engorgement. the quickie ends before the system reaches its potential. the slow start principle: begin with the lowest intensity stimulation and increase over time. start with non genital touch (back, neck, thighs). progress to peripheral genital touch (outer labia, pubic mound, inner thighs near the genitals). progress to indirect clitoral stimulation (through the hood, around the glans). arrive at direct clitoral stimulation last. each stage builds engorgement. each stage increases sensitivity for the next stage. the final stage (direct stimulation) contacts tissue that has been building blood flow for 20 to 30 minutes and is now maximally sensitive. the opposite approach (starting with direct clitoral stimulation from minute one) contacts tissue that is not yet engorged and therefore not yet maximally sensitive. the stimulation is received by a partially prepared system. the orgasm that results is smaller because the infrastructure wasn't fully built. starting directly is not faster. it is less efficient. the slow start reaches a stronger orgasm in less total stimulation time because the infrastructure is complete when the stimulation arrives. the men who are described as "amazing in bed" are not doing anything technically different during the orgasm itself. they are doing everything differently in the 30 minutes before it. the slow start builds the infrastructure. the orgasm detonates the infrastructure. the size of the detonation depends on the size of what was built. build more. detonate more. the investment is time. the return is exponential.