Even a clunky Femeni, with Kerolin Nicoli sashaying about like she is waiting for her Uber, is more fun to watch than either of these teams.

And Jesus said ...

Glad Paralluelo got that bag, but I bet my house she is missing the football.

Note. Arsenal got a penalty for the EXACT THING that the ref decided to ignore in the Barça CL tie against Atleti.

Lyon v Chelsea is going to be an interesting watch. Obviously the correct thing is to root for both teams to lose as a fiery pit to Hades opens up at mid pitch, culminating in Cereberus gnawing on random skulls.

Paris FC remuntadaed Arsenal for a 2-2 draw, off about 35 percent possession. 2-0 still the most dangerous scoreline ...

The future is so bright for Femeni. Romeu just brought on Van Asten, Camara, Carla Julia, Rosalia Dominguez. In addtion to the young core already there. Full time blows. 0-6 beatdown in Roma's house.

Three extra. Barça looking content to just roll it around, at six goals to the good.

The worrying thing for Romeu will be how Femeni hit the gas when Nicoli went out. Moving better, the ball moving better, connected, sharp play.

What a ridiculous goal sequence, finished off by Pajor. Patri lofted, Van Asten lofted header, Pajor volley home. 0-6

Weirdest about this match is that Femeni hasn't finished well. Brugts left two on the table, Pina one, all goals they normally score. This could be a cricket score.

Carla Julia on. Instantly into squirrel on Red Bull mode.

Pina with a five iron rainbow to make it 0-5. She has had the poorest match for a player with a hat trick that I can recall.

Roma on a solo break, seemingly in on goal. Aicha Camara says, NO.

Hansen. Holds off two defenders, stops, fakes, smokes it past the keeper. 0-4. What a ridiculous match she has had today.

Hansen back to bail out Paredes, whacking the ball off a Roma player to turn possession.

Texas is irretreivably red. I mean, Paxton is the shittiest possible candidate but will win because Texas is red. Deep, deep red. Christ off the cross couldn't win Texas if he ran as a Dem.

Pina. Again. This time showing the patience that she didn't evince in the first half. Moving left, firing right. 0-3

Best players at the break, Hansen and Schertenleib. It still blows my mind how she came to the club. Scouts saw her, she had no representation so the club reached out via Instagram DM. Joined B on a free, quickly moved up. Fast making herself indispensable.

Two pokes at the ball on the Roma doorstep, and somehow Femeni doesn't put the ball in the net. Pina the worst, with a half-assed, full force whack directly into a defender. All she had to do was pause for a moment, then roll it home. Maddening.