Throwing off the shackles of fear & anxiety. Intentional living without limits. Tech Exec. Coach. Meditation teacher. Acrobat.
Portland
Joined October 2012
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Over the past 10 years, I have read over 100 self-help books.
99% of them repackaged the same ideas with a little twist.
Here's 8 that will change your life 🧵👇
"What’s happening outside Portland’s ICE facility isn’t just comedy, it’s cultural jiu-jitsu. It’s turning power’s own imagery back on itself, exposing how ridiculous tyranny looks under a disco ball."
Getting up this morning was hard.
My mind invented all sorts of worries and problems.
But I refused to get out of bed until I was in a positive state of mind.
This took me almost 30 minutes.
But I know that years of worry and anxiety have pushed my mind to incline towards darkness.
So I must choose light.
And I must make that choice
Every. Single. Day.
The amount we suffer is directly proportionate to the amount we desire.
The solution isn’t to get all the things we desire or to desire less.
It’s to shift our focus to living in the moment.
It’s to feel the breeze, hold hands in a quiet moment, or curl up with a good book.
It’s to simply be.
No expectations. No roles to play. No strategies to employ.
Just being.
Kevin Packer - Fear Coach retweeted
I felt like an imposter.
Sitting at the park, surrounded by friendly faces.
I didn’t talk to anyone. Just buried myself in a book.
I’m supposed to be an expert on human connection.
But all I wanted to do was curl up and read.
I was in a funk.
Weeks pass.
I don’t meditate. I don’t write.
I just work, exercise, eat, and sleep.
Killing time between missed opportunities.
But suddenly, it’s my brother’s wedding.
I’m at a cocktail hour, surrounded by friendly faces.
Again.
I make small talk, but it feels like such a chore.
Then my dad’s friend corners me.
I don’t know this guy. I don’t want to talk to him.
But he’s going on and on.
Talking about how much he loves meditation.
But it’s like a switch flips.
And I wake up.
This guy is trying to connect with me.
So I take a real interest. I ask questions.
And I get a personal TED talk on transcendental meditation.
The next morning, my dad finds me.
He tells me how impressed his friend was by me.
“Impressed?”, I ask. “Why?”
“Because you took an interest in his passion. No one ever lets him talk about meditation.”
And just like that, I remember who I am.
I am someone who connects deeply and authentically.
And sometimes I lose my way.
Sometimes I think that’s not worth all that much.
Sometimes I think I’m an imposter.
But I’m not an imposter.
I’m just a human.
A flawed, growing, authentic human who wants nothing more than real human connection…even if some days he isn't great at it.
Sometimes I wonder how much bigger my business would be if I didn’t spend so much time pinned to my couch, forced to give my cat endless scratches while she constantly rearranges herself on my lap.
Oh well. Back to work.
This cat isn’t going to scratch itself. Apparently.
I felt like an imposter.
Sitting at the park, surrounded by friendly faces.
I didn’t talk to anyone. Just buried myself in a book.
I’m supposed to be an expert on human connection.
But all I wanted to do was curl up and read.
I was in a funk.
Weeks pass.
I don’t meditate. I don’t write.
I just work, exercise, eat, and sleep.
Killing time between missed opportunities.
But suddenly, it’s my brother’s wedding.
I’m at a cocktail hour, surrounded by friendly faces.
Again.
I make small talk, but it feels like such a chore.
Then my dad’s friend corners me.
I don’t know this guy. I don’t want to talk to him.
But he’s going on and on.
Talking about how much he loves meditation.
But it’s like a switch flips.
And I wake up.
This guy is trying to connect with me.
So I take a real interest. I ask questions.
And I get a personal TED talk on transcendental meditation.
The next morning, my dad finds me.
He tells me how impressed his friend was by me.
“Impressed?”, I ask. “Why?”
“Because you took an interest in his passion. No one ever lets him talk about meditation.”
And just like that, I remember who I am.
I am someone who connects deeply and authentically.
And sometimes I lose my way.
Sometimes I think that’s not worth all that much.
Sometimes I think I’m an imposter.
But I’m not an imposter.
I’m just a human.
A flawed, growing, authentic human who wants nothing more than real human connection…even if some days he isn't great at it.
Kevin Packer - Fear Coach retweeted
I learned a secret about writing on X.
Dating and working out got easier when I fell in love with the journey.
And writing is the same. So now I:
- Don’t focus on views, likes, etc.
- Don’t worry about being good enough
- Do write about whatever lights me up
(the irony is my most successful posts were written exactly like this)
Kevin Packer - Fear Coach retweeted
What if everything works out?
What if all you worry about doesn’t come to pass?
What if your ONLY problem is worry itself…
…and how it robs you of this very moment?
I learned a secret about writing on X.
Dating and working out got easier when I fell in love with the journey.
And writing is the same. So now I:
- Don’t focus on views, likes, etc.
- Don’t worry about being good enough
- Do write about whatever lights me up
(the irony is my most successful posts were written exactly like this)
Kevin Packer - Fear Coach retweeted
If you can’t be smart, be consistent.
If you can’t be brave, be resilient.
If you can’t be lucky, be patient.
Stay true, and success will find you.
What if everything works out?
What if all you worry about doesn’t come to pass?
What if your ONLY problem is worry itself…
…and how it robs you of this very moment?
If you can’t be smart, be consistent.
If you can’t be brave, be resilient.
If you can’t be lucky, be patient.
Stay true, and success will find you.
I was talking to a friend who was filing for divorce.
It needed to happen, but she felt terrible to be the person causing all this pain.
I told her, "You're not causing the pain. You're ending it".
Perspective is everything.
Choose one that gives you strength.
I woke up and didn’t know what to worry about.
So I thought about a subscription I forgot to cancel.
Couldn’t get a refund for it either.
I successfully got really irritated about it.
And I went full scorched earth to fix this injustice!
…until I realized how silly I was being.
It’s $10.
It’s $10 that I lost 2 months ago.
What happens when the mind is trained to worry?
It finds things to worry about.
I’m a reformed worry addict.
But I’ve cried wolf one too many times.
So I’ve learned to slow down and ask questions.
Let me now ask one of you.
What are you worried about today?
Do you need to worry about it?
Kevin Packer - Fear Coach retweeted
We laugh and shake our heads at rich people chasing more money.
But what about us…
…chasing a little more validation?
…a few more followers?
…a bit more income?
…or that next level of self-mastery?
Anything can be an addiction.
Don’t let success be a prison.
We laugh and shake our heads at rich people chasing more money.
But what about us…
…chasing a little more validation?
…a few more followers?
…a bit more income?
…or that next level of self-mastery?
Anything can be an addiction.
Don’t let success be a prison.
I kicked off 34 by slamming my foot into a coffee table.
Maybe a bit too literal in “kicking off” my birthday.
But, as I writhed in pain, all I could do was laugh.
Another year around the world, and I still have the spatial awareness of a blind puppy.
But I have something far more valuable anyway…
I have the choice to laugh.
A younger me would have been pissed.
My ankle was going to throb all day. On my birthday!
A bruised ankle becomes a bad attitude, which becomes a bad day.
Birthday ruined.
But 34-year-old me is, quite literally, too old for that shit.
He knows that I smash my feet into things all the time.
I’ve broken two toes just by walking around my house.
I joke that my spatial optimism is my worst quality.
But it also exposes my best quality.
I'm able to choose my reaction.
A bruised ankle is nothing more than 2 minutes of pain and a bit of inconvenience for a day or so.
Yes, my ankle hurt on my birthday.
But I chose to be happy anyway.
And I got to reaffirm who I really am.
Because I am nothing more than how I show up.
I think this was a birthday present from the universe.
So I’ll accept it with gratitude.
(but maybe ask for something less literal next time)
I just turned 34, and I celebrated by playing in a ball pit.
As the years race by, I feel pressured to get older.
So I fight harder to stay young.
Sure, my hair is turning gray, and my ankle hurts.
But 33 taught me a few secrets on staying young at 34.
1. Give Yourself Recess
I can’t work an 8-hour day.
It’s literally impossible for me.
After 4 hours, my mind needs rest and body needs movement.
So I give myself recess every day.
It can be a walk in the sun, a workout, acrobatics, or anything else.
But if Kevin doesn’t move, then Kevin ain’t working.
Recess isn’t just for kids anymore.
2. Live your dreams NOW
I slept on my dreams for years.
Waited to buy a house.
Waited to travel the world.
Waited to start a new business.
And my whole life was one big waiting game.
Then, in just a few years, I bought a beautiful home, traveled across New Zealand and South America, and became a life coach.
It was all easier than I thought.
And brings me so much joy.
3. Play in ball pits
I wasn’t silly enough in my 20s.
No one is going to arrest you for being silly.
The real secret to staying young is letting yourself have fun.
I take care of the important stuff in life…
…so I can be silly as possible the rest of the time.
I hope you’ll join me in my metaphorical ball pit.
Or at least in the real one below.
(I’m the legs buried under the surface)
I took a week off X.
No writing or business was done.
But I don't feel even a little bad about it.
Spent the week celebrating the 4th and my birthday with friends, family, and, of course, this lovely lady.
My heart is overflowing with gratitude.
Gratitude is a superpower, and Joe’s 2-minute practice here can change your life.
I used to resent my work.
Now I absolutely love it.
Because I got intentionally grateful.
That gratitude changed the way I showed up to the world, which then changed how the world responded to me.
It’s not that I no longer mind the “bad parts” about my work.
It’s that, once I started being this way, the bad parts disappeared entirely.
Be intentionally grateful.
And see the world respond in kind.
“Just be grateful!” is a problem.
It’s empty.
It’s forceful.
It oversimplifies.
I’ve done my Daily Gratitude Practice for 15 years.
Here’s my 2-minute Practice in 5 steps:
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1. Make the Time
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If you want to be intentional with your practice,
be intentional with your time.
Set 2 minutes in your day for this exercise.
That is all you need!
Put down all distractions – I like to close my eyes.
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2. Gifts
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View the people and events of that day as gifts:
“I’m glad my neighbor Jim told me about his flowers.
He seemed so proud!”
The Gift of Listening.
“I’m glad I could lend an air conditioner to a friend in this heat wave.”
The gift of a Favor.
“I’m glad I got to laugh with friends I rarely see.”
The gift of Laughter.
Enjoy these gifts.
Enjoy your ability to reflect on these gifts.
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3. Surrendering
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You’re human.
You’re not perfect.
Surrender your:
- negative emotions
- judgments
- frustrations
to make room for self-compassion:
“I could have been nicer to my wife today.
I did get frustrated at her.”
“I didn’t need to be so judgmental to that couple on the trail.”
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4. Review
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Put the good against the bad.
Weigh those gifts and your flaws.
Were there more of one than the other?
Why do you think so?
Digest those reasons.
“I got to get out in some beautiful nature –
I should have just enjoyed the moment
instead of passing judgment on others.”
“I knew my wife didn’t sleep well last night.
I should have been more thoughtful and caring.”
“Overall, my day was great – things I can change, but
I am glad I experienced this day.”
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5. Forgiveness & Resolve
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Give yourself grace!
Apply what you learned here
to your future actions and interactions:
“I’ll remember this moment next time I’m hiking.”
“I need to apologize to my wife.
I should have acted better.”
“I make mistakes. I get frustrated.
I’ll be sure to be more patient tomorrow.”
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Bonus: The Biggest Secret
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Some days are not meant for gratitude.
If your day was entirely terrible –
Use those 2 minutes to reflect on why.
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Gratitude is not just about being thankful for the positives.
Gratitude is welcoming that there are highs,
there are lows, and
there is everything in between.
Your ability to experience is what matters most.
Use this to help guide your week, friend!
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PS: If you want a simplified version, leave me a comment or send a DM. More than happy to share!
