@kclemson

puns, geeky jokes, @bedlamcardgame & @twistofplate. Works on Excel @ MSFT. #blacklivesmatter🇺🇦🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍🌈.

 Redmond
threads.net/@kc_lemson
Joined March 2008
  • Tweets29.5K
  • Following1.2K
  • Followers6.8K
7.8KMedia
Remember these headlines from a few years ago? This week my team in #Excel started rolling out a new feature that addresses it :-) insider.microsoft365.com/en-…
Engadget article from 2020 with title: “Scientists rename genes because Microsoft Excel reads them as dates. Microsoft’s spreadsheet app is too helpful for its own good.”

ALT Engadget article from 2020 with title: “Scientists rename genes because Microsoft Excel reads them as dates. Microsoft’s spreadsheet app is too helpful for its own good.”

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Fuck the pole-leaf
Outside, a pole with a brown crispy leaf stuck to it

ALT Outside, a pole with a brown crispy leaf stuck to it

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I had a big exec review today so I dressed up for the occasion
A woman taking a selfie in a mirror, wearing a hoodie with a yellow rubber ducky on it that says “WHAT THE DUCK”

ALT A woman taking a selfie in a mirror, wearing a hoodie with a yellow rubber ducky on it that says “WHAT THE DUCK”

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KC Lemson (@kclemson.bsky.social) retweeted
Blake Liveleak@bobo_circus27 Apr 2023
sorry guys im leaving twitter. im going to post gleeps on frunkley.bunk with two hundred of the most 38 year old people this website ever churned out
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Rest in peace, Lucy.
A side view of a black and white dog standing on a gravel road. She’s looking at the camera, smiling. The sun is setting behind her, creating an effect of a glowing halo surrounding her.

ALT A side view of a black and white dog standing on a gravel road. She’s looking at the camera, smiling. The sun is setting behind her, creating an effect of a glowing halo surrounding her.

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Over the last few months Lucy’s health has gotten much worse, and it has finally reached a point where it’s time… after five wonderful years with this amazing dog, tomorrow we will be saying goodbye I am absolutely broken 😭 😭 😭 destroyed I love you Lucy so damned much
KC Lemson (@kclemson.bsky.social)@kclemson15 Oct 2020
Happy gotcha day, Lucy the majestic, sweet, goofy, loving wonder pup! Three years ago today... we are so fortunate that she’s made it this long despite her age and health challenges. I’m thankful for every day we have with her.
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KC Lemson (@kclemson.bsky.social) retweeted
memes.xlsx
@ExcelHumor14 Aug 2022
artificial intelligence is taking over
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KC Lemson (@kclemson.bsky.social) retweeted
Tiago Costa ☁️@tiagocostapt27 Nov 2022
Is it just me or the Windows Phone UI still looks beautiful? #BackToThePast
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There should be achievements for when you *stop* yourself from tweeting about something
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There once was a man from Durham Who hungered so much for a plum He saw your icebox Without any locks You won’t be surprised by the outcome
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I’m a little conflicted about how often I have to prove I’m not a robot, because…
A picture of a robot toy from the 80s, named “Casey”.

ALT A picture of a robot toy from the 80s, named “Casey”.

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Welp, who’s got two thumbs and just got laid off from Microsoft this morning? 2022 has been quite a year.
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I’m mostly posting on mastodon these days, but sharing this here too: This week I accepted an offer back at Microsoft, working on Excel. I am SO FRICKIN’ EXCITED because for the last 20 years I have often said Excel was my favorite Microsoft product. I can’t wait to dig in.
Confession bear meme: SOMETIMES WHEN A FORMULA RETURNS AN ERROR I JUST MAKE THE FONT COLOR WHITE TO HIDE IT.

ALT Confession bear meme: SOMETIMES WHEN A FORMULA RETURNS AN ERROR I JUST MAKE THE FONT COLOR WHITE TO HIDE IT.

Meme: Remember when Kelly Rowland texted her man via Microsoft Excel and was fuming he didn’t text back? The meme contains screenshots of the scenes from the music video in which this happened.

ALT Meme: Remember when Kelly Rowland texted her man via Microsoft Excel and was fuming he didn’t text back? The meme contains screenshots of the scenes from the music video in which this happened.

Meme with pic of the repetitive “mate?” seagulls from finding nemo. The seagulls are looking directly at the camera with a questioning look on their faces, and “#REF?” over each of their heads. The title is “When you accidentally break a link in Excel”

ALT Meme with pic of the repetitive “mate?” seagulls from finding nemo. The seagulls are looking directly at the camera with a questioning look on their faces, and “#REF?” over each of their heads. The title is “When you accidentally break a link in Excel”

Meme of dominos being set up to fall, ranging in size from small ones up front to larger ones at the back. The largest domino is labeled “Microsoft excel 10 hours a day for the rest of your life” The smallest one is labeled “some fish with the audacity to crawl onto land”

ALT Meme of dominos being set up to fall, ranging in size from small ones up front to larger ones at the back. The largest domino is labeled “Microsoft excel 10 hours a day for the rest of your life” The smallest one is labeled “some fish with the audacity to crawl onto land”

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KC Lemson (@kclemson.bsky.social) retweeted
BedlamCardGame@BedlamCardGame12 Nov 2022
I just thought of an idea for a new answer (white) card: “Bringing comedy back” It fits nicely with soooooo many different question cards… here are just a few, picked *completely* at random:
Hi! I’m Clippy. It looks like you’re working on ____. Do you want help with that?

ALT Hi! I’m Clippy. It looks like you’re working on ____. Do you want help with that?

____? That’s a billion dollar business idea right there.

ALT ____? That’s a billion dollar business idea right there.

There are three hard problems in computer science: cache invalidation, off by one errors, naming things, and ____.

ALT There are three hard problems in computer science: cache invalidation, off by one errors, naming things, and ____.

Why can’t a room full of engineers get ____ to work?

ALT Why can’t a room full of engineers get ____ to work?

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checkmarks and balances
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That CEO is hyping checkmarks the twitterati can’t cash
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Nov 10, 2022: the day the twit hit the fan
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As yet another sign (as if we needed one) of how broken the entire system is… I just got this ad.
An ad for a company called “WTF Notebooks” with a picture of a notebook with the label “Employees I’m Thinking About Firing” on the front.

ALT An ad for a company called “WTF Notebooks” with a picture of a notebook with the label “Employees I’m Thinking About Firing” on the front.

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I’m spending more and more time on mastodon and less time on here because… reasons. I’m workshopping some ideas for mastodon-native joke styles over there, and I think I may have hit on a decent starting point: mastodon.cloud/@Kclemson/109…
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