@juvenalia

I'm nothing if not obliging.

 new orleans
Joined March 2009
  • Tweets6.7K
  • Following0
  • Followers341
272Media
The greatest trick the devil ever played was convincing me to put peanut butter in my waffle iron 😭
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Oh wow oh wow.
jonny sun@jonnysun9 Mar 2022
OH MY GOD IT WORKED
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Today in phone calls with my parents @Wayfair
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Does Amazon know what Hanukkah is?
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Pretty stressed that a @FedEx driver just forged my signature and dropped a package on the porch. I was home — he didn’t even try to knock. That package required a signature for a reason…
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So @PetSmart is it just me or…
This is like every nightmare I’ve ever had. @HomeDepot
Honestly @Delta, if you’re so short-staffed that my hold time has entered the open-ended realm of “greater than 9 hours,” just hire me and I’ll fix my own damn reservation.
How is calzone not trending? #jeopardy #calzone
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The most unbelievable part of Legally Blonde is that Elle Woods has boxed hair color in her room.
alexandra retweeted
kottke.org@kottke19 Mar 2021
A collection of verified fundraisers for the families of the Atlanta-area spa shootings and for organizations to help stop hate and violence against Asian Americans and Pacific Islanders. gofundme.com/c/act/stop-aapi…
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alexandra retweeted
ali@alirichthem20 Jan 2021
i am once again asking if he had it comin’
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Important discovery of the day: the thing in “Belle” that’s “too expensive” is some kind of earthenware jug.
A still from Disney’s animated Beauty and the Beast. Belle hangs on to the back of a cart. She is passing by a man haggling with another man who is selling earthenware bowls and jugs.

ALT A still from Disney’s animated Beauty and the Beast. Belle hangs on to the back of a cart. She is passing by a man haggling with another man who is selling earthenware bowls and jugs.

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Well that escalated steadily for four years.
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Is it just me or does this seem like a joke I would make every day?
Merriam-Webster
@MerriamWebster4 Jan 2021
Good morning! Today's #WordOfTheDay is 'dissociate' merriam-webster.com/word-of-…
Word of the Day January 4 2021 - dissociate - verb - dih-SOH-shee-ayt - to separate from another or to disunite

ALT Word of the Day January 4 2021 - dissociate - verb - dih-SOH-shee-ayt - to separate from another or to disunite

So @cvspharmacy sent me a birthday coupon for 40% off any item and I used it to buy deodorant. I can’t even fathom what I’ve become.
1. Is hugging with your legs called enjambing? 2. Why not?
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Yes there’s a lot going on, but here’s the president saying he successfully ordered a murder executed by US Marshals.
Acyn
@Acyn15 Oct 2020
Trump: We sent in the US Marshals, took 15 minutes and it was over... They knew who he was, they didn’t want to arrest him and 15 minutes that ended
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2020 is like that Billy Joel song where he names random events for five minutes straight.
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