justin thompson (@justinthomplol) | teapawt

justin thompson@justinthomplolOct 14

I’m not the step child, I’m the child that stepped up

1

80

justin thompson@justinthomplolOct 14

If you’re over the age of 25 and you don’t have kids, what’s preventing you from getting high at work?

1

100

justin thompson@justinthomplolAug 20

Other lettuce companies are really seizing the moment to advertise “hey, we don’t give you the diarrhea”

45

justin thompson retweeted

justin thompson@justinthomplolJul 28

(fighting back tears) just learned that there is a Mr. Rachel

2

58

justin thompson@justinthomplolJul 28

(fighting back tears) just learned that there is a Mr. Rachel

2

58

justin thompson@justinthomplolJul 25

I don’t have beer goggles, but I do have Mad Dog 20/20

59

justin thompson@justinthomplolJul 9

Rip Mitch McConnell, he taught me that it was okay to do whippits in the walk in freezer at work

107

justin thompson@justinthomplolJun 25

just found out that the A in LBGTQIA stands for Android Users

20

justin thompson@justinthomplolJun 23

Comedy tip: Be funny. Be nice. Have weed. If you can’t be funny, be nice. If you can’t be nice, have weed. If you don’t have weed, be really funny.

1

36

justin thompson retweeted

Doug Loves Movies@DougLovesMoviesJun 11

On the latest DLM, Geoff Tate recommended I LOVE BOOSTERS, first time guest @Jill_lives appreciated the bleak-fest called SIRÂT, and @justinthomplol supported SEND HELP. Which one, if any, is your favorite? podcasts.apple.com/us/podcas…

Doug Loves Movies

Comedy Podcast · Updated Biweekly · Comedian Doug Benson (Super High Me, Last Comic Standing) invites his friends to sit down and discuss his first love: movies!

podcasts.apple.com

4

279

justin thompson@justinthomplolJun 9

honestly its kinda sick that the gambling hotline number is 1-800-GAMBLER

21

justin thompson@justinthomplolJun 2

I’ve got a face for radio, and an ass for toiletto

1

46

justin thompson@justinthomplolApr 16

22

justin thompson@justinthomplolApr 11

We're starting a parade for people who have unprotected sex. Will you pull up for pulling out?

58

justin thompson@justinthomplolApr 9

hit the svenjamin too hard now all my thoughts are in swedish

95

justin thompson@justinthomplolApr 9

You ever get so high you enter the overworld map?

27

justin thompson@justinthomplolApr 5

It’s Jesus Christ isn’t it?

Hot Ones is teasing their “biggest” episode yet. Who do you think it is?

58

justin thompson@justinthomplolMar 30

Ironing my most impressive comedy festival t-shirt

20

justin thompson@justinthomplolMar 22

Twitter turns 20. What is your favorite tweet of all time?

1

29

justin thompson@justinthomplolMar 20

Chuck Norris dead at 86

28