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Sigh. Have just been mansplained to on a subject I am an expert in, by a man who freely admits he has no experience in said topic. This tweet is evergreen.
Wife and mistress and a divorce announcement all in one tweet. May we never see such synergy again.
Sometimes in life you make mistakes you can't undo. Sad to tell you all that @Bethanyliterary and I are getting a divorce. She filed divorce papers to me today.
To get it out of the way so there are no questions, yes, I am with @DuchessOfDeFi.
The history and complexities of Israel and Palestine are absolutely perfect for the people of Twitter to opine about. Thousands of years, multiple genocides, the holocaust, anti-Muslim racism and xenophobia, antisemitism, and multiple claims on the holiest land?
Wake was my favorite Sox player of all time, and I am legitimately gutted at his passing. He was just a solid, good dude, and I actually loved watching him pitch, slow as it was. I would like Curt Schilling to eat entire plates of rotten shit for the rest of his miserable life.
I bought a new toilet seat. I installed the toilet seat. HOURS, and I mean hours, later, I opened the lid to use it. (I installed without having to lift the lid) WHAT. WHAT THE HELL.
After a brief dalliance dressing as the white woman she is, it appears that Khloe Kardashian is back at cosplaying a black woman, god help us all.
I have been up since 4:45–which is fine, since I normally get up at 5:30 anyway—because Nora couldn’t find a comfortable spot on the bed, and she MOANED AT ME. While I was in the bathroom, she took my place. Under the COVERS AND EVERYTHING.
My favorite part of this and all the “jokes” people make upon learning my name is that every single one of them thinks they’re the first to make that comment.
Met a woman who seemed lovely. I introduced myself with my name. She looked uncomfortable, and I had to say it out loud a few times.
Me: And you are…?
Her: Oh I am Sue…MUCH easier to say and remember… [laugh]
Me: Sorry I didn’t get that.. how do you spell it?
I blame her for driving me to pettiness.
I have low blood sodium, so I have an emergency Gatorade in the car, and drank it a couple days ago. I replaced it today, did not look at it, and oh no. What have I done. No.
Imagine using your celebrity cache to defend a rapist. Ashton Kutcher and Mila Kunis can eat dirt, now and forever. Hope it was worth it.
This is exactly right. This clown has also forgotten that his core audience isn’t teen girls anymore. Those girls are now more mature, aware of the patriarchy’s impact on moms, and they are not here for shitting on Sophie. The blind adoration ain’t here no more, broseph.
Even if you’re not into celebrity gossip, you should pay close attention to the Joe Jonas / Sophie Turner divorce as a case study in botched PR.
Joe’s PR operation is backfiring badly, and his whole gambit is creating serious risk of damaging his reputation and even alienating his fans.
Some background: celebrity divorces always follow the same PR playbook, maybe because so many celebrities use the same handful of publicists.
Phase 1 — nothing to see here, the spouses are posting pics showing wedding bands or taking paparazzi “candids” doing “normal” things like getting coffee and walking the dog.
Phase 2 — it’s over, pics get deleted or wedding bands disappear. Divorce is announced with a bland, amiable joint statement from the couple. It’ll say they’ve agreed to move on, they’ll always have affection and respect for each other, and please respect their privacy for the sake of the kids.
Phase 3 — immediate jockeying for the narrative as each person deploys friends and publicists to tell their side of the story, with one on offense and one on defense. If you want to see real combat comms, watch celebrity divorces.
There will be a winner, and that’s whoever garners the most public sympathy and is able to preserve if not burnish their reputation. Basically, the winner will be the person who’s perceived to be wronged.
So what happened here: since Joe Jonas and Sophie Turner’s divorce news became public a couple days ago, you can tell that Joe has been going on offense to control the narrative. Obviously he’s the one who filed for divorce, but on top of that, Today got an exclusive of the filing — look at the first screenshot.
What it means is that the filing was leaked to them specifically with a promise not to share with other outlets until Today got to report (ie, shape) the story first. In that story, the key narrative points first emerge: Joe initiated the divorce and has been taking care of the kids.
Within a day, more tea starts being spilled, from “sources” clearly on Team Joe: Sophie might be a neglectful mom, Sophie might party too much, Sophie did something shady. It’s obvious that Team Joe is trying to show him as the aggrieved party, the good guy.
Three problems with the approach here.
1) Usually it’s good comms strategy to go on offense and get your narrative out first. But it’s much more dicey when your antagonist is the mother of your children, especially when she’s not fighting back!
The new “revelations” about Sophie were too transparent (they could’ve only come from Team Joe), became too frequent (several in only two days), went too far (implying she’s a bad mom), and overall started to make Joe look like the aggressor.
Attacking someone too much almost always backfires (ask anyone who saw the recent racist caricature of @garrytan which he brilliantly parlayed into a surge of support for his cause).
2) Joe Jonas’s fans are young women. One of the few things they like more than the Jonas Brothers? Sophie Turner. Young women identify with Sophie; they watched her marry an older guy when she was only 23, watched her become a young mother, and pretty much fell in love with her over the past few years.
You’re not going to get millennial women to turn on Sansa Stark.
3) The line of attack is out of touch with the prevailing mood among the women that make up the Jonas fanbase.
That demographic is all about respecting women’s personal choices, appreciating the challenges of motherhood, being conscious of power dynamics in relationships, and supporting women in their careers. We’re coming off the summer of Barbie.
A young woman trying to balance motherhood with work and life is going to draw more sympathy than criticism. Read the room, Joe.
This PR campaign to win the divorce is going off the rails. For now it’s mostly snark and gossip, but it’s going to become really damaging if he doesn’t manage to course correct quickly.
People are now bringing up old receipts of Joe Jonas being a shithead to women. The fallout from what he FULLY THOUGHT would be a smart, preemptive PR campaign is so delicious, I want to put it in a blender and drink it.
Since getting my old-school non-HE top loader washing machine with a functional agitator and a shitload of water, my drying time has been cut in HALF using the dryer—it spins more efficiently—and the total electricity used is less than half per load.
I expected the washing machine to take less time—and it does, about one QUARTER of the time it used to—but the dryer surprised me. And now I have a lot (A LOT) of questions about what HE means, especially as it relates to water and electricity and Jesus Christ TIME.












